|The Universe Lends a Helping Hand, If You Ask It|
My life since Wednesday has had more ups and downs than a damn roller coaster. I spent most of Wednesday fighting off one anxiety attack after the other, and believe me, it wasn't pretty. If I wasn't crying, I was trying not to cry, or my stomach was hurting.
I woke up around 3 a.m. on Thursday morning from a dream that I was having a screaming argument with my mother - who, as most of you know, passed away back in 2008. I also woke up with a pounding headache. Tom said to me, "Better take something now, it's a migraine." But, no, I told him that it wasn't, and I went back to sleep.
Come 6:30 a.m., and yes, it was a headache. Only by the Grace of the Goddess did I manage to get Colden to preschool with that thundering in my right eye before I went back home and slipped back into bed to try to sleep it off.
I decided that a Vinyasa class on Thursday night was probably not a great idea after feeling so yucky all day, so I just did a few gentle, restorative stretches on my own in front of the wood stove.
Friday, I went for a Reiki treatment. I don't know if I'm quite ready to talk about everything that happened there, but I will say this: on the drive home, everything looked different. I realized that I am, indeed, looking at the world with fresh eyes now.
Saturday was my photography class, and again, I felt that excruciating pain in the pit of my stomach as I drove to Plattsburgh. I told myself, okay, if it gets too bad, don't go to the class. Go to Target or something, and then go home.
But once I drove past the cultural center, I knew it was going to be okay, so I parked and went into class. (And I'm glad I did, because I learned a ton, once I relaxed and settled down. But that's a blog for tomorrow, I think.)
So, I went to yoga class on Sunday afternoon, and by the Grace of the Goddess, I only had a minor bit of stomach discomfort. Class was invigorating and relaxing, and I left feeling very good about myself and my body.
Yoga class was exactly what I needed to do on Sunday. Robin read a passage about learning how to live with your limitations and being accepting of them, and it resonated strongly with me. Yoga practice is a beautiful way to start getting the energy moving in your body, and in my case, I'm clearing out old, stagnant energy that's been there for several years. The clearing out part doesn't feel so great sometimes, but in the long run, I'm going to be healthier and happier for it.
Also at yoga class, I met Lynn Edwards, who is another type of healer, and has a large walking labyrinth on her property here in Jay. Walking through the "spin", or the spiral path in our own backyard has been something of a meditation for me, and I'm eager to go see Lynn's path. She also does seasonal celebrations in the labyrinth, and I'm planning to attend the spring equinox ceremony in a couple of weeks.
After I got home from yoga last night, I started to realize that the Universe was, once again, responding to my needs. I need to deal with the anxiety and the illness, so I put it out there. And in return, the Universe sends me to Robin's yoga class, to Linda for the Reiki, and puts me in touch with people like Lynn who have other solutions to my problems.
Of course, that's not to say that I can just sit back on my butt and not do anything. The Universe is meeting me halfway here by providing me with the tools I need to get this done, and now, it's entirely up to me to make it work.