Lonely

I'm feeling sort of lonely today. Yes, it's nice to have the place to myself sometimes, and most days, I love the solitude of the fireplace and the radio and having Moose all to myself. But today, I'm just feeling lonely, and I wish Tom could come home from work early, even if it means he's just going to sit next to me and watch movies on Netflix while I work.

We found out yesterday that his co-worker's stepdaughter, who is in her late 20s and has a daughter of her own not too much older than Colden, was diagnosed with Stage 3 Lymphatic Cancer after having a lymph node removed a couple of weeks ago. We're crossing our fingers for her - after living a rather wild life for most of her teenage years, in the last few years, she has settled down, quit smoking and cut out alcohol, and has been working at being a responsible mother to her daughter.

It just gave me a chill when Tom told me on the phone. This is the second person this week that I know who has been given a diagnosis of cancer. What's going on here? Does anyone else seem to think this is a horrifying epidemic we're experiencing in this country? Why are so many young people being diagnosed with this disease?

Artistically, I'm feeling sort of stumped this week. I'm so, so close to finishing my next spike bead necklace so that I can move on and finish two more pieces before my November 30 deadline with my friend Sue, but there's just this sort of...inertia when I sit down to attach the components. It really doesn't take me too long to do each one, but I just feel as though there's something holding me back. I don't know what. Maybe it's my fear that once I complete this piece, I have soooooo many other pieces that need/want my attention. And deadlines. Lots and lots of deadlines...

Whatever it is, I need to focus this afternoon and get my act together. No sense in letting the anxiety get the best of me. I'm too busy for that shit right now. Forward.