More Guns

My father posted this entirely and horrifically inappropriate picture on Facebook the other day of a woman holding a gun with the words, "Israel armed their schoolteachers to protect their kids. Why did we disarm ours?"

I can't get over how stupid and wrong and inappropriate this is on so many levels.

First of all, we are not living in Israel. We are not under daily attack from rocket bombs and terrorists. (Although if you watch CNN and Fox on a daily basis, you would certainly get that impression.) And not like a gun is going to help you if someone drops a bomb on your house, anyway...

So, why again, do we need to have access to semi-automatic military assault guns like the ones that killed those twenty kids the other day?

Oh, right - because we want them. And because without them, we'll lose our freedom.

So, okay, we all have the right to own these instruments of death and terror. What now?

Now, we REALLY have something to protect ourselves against, so we start implementing increased security. We arm our teachers and lock down our schools and hospitals and shopping malls to protect ourselves.

No more unlocked doors.  You have to show an ID to get in and out everywhere. You can't get into the mall or a store without being buzzed through the bullet-proof glass.

You have to walk through a metal detector to get on a bus or a train. 

It's the same at your son's school. If you're not an approved list, they won't buzz you through the bullet-proof triple doors. No ID, and you don't get in, either.

Pretty soon, you can't walk out of your front door without worrying about who *might* be carrying a gun. And who knows what kind of gun they might have? Semi-automatic assault-style weapons are perfectly legal.That's what the definition of freedom is, right?

But, we still have our freedom, right? We can go wherever we want, and with all the increased security, we get the best of both worlds, right?

I don't know about you, but I think my son deserves to live in a world that's free of guns, instead of a world full of bullet-proof glass and fear.

Need vs. Want

Can't stop thinking about the twenty dead kids in Connecticut, some as young as five. Here's the deal.

There are most likely very, very few people in the United States who NEED to have a gun. It's not like we live in Somalia or the West Bank or Palestine. Last time I checked, there were not hoards of marauders prowling the streets at night looking to rape, plunder, and pillage.

Sure, once in a while, Tom runs across a particularly tasty-looking deer in the woods, and he uses his rifle to end that creature's life and put it in the freezer so that he and Colden can eat it over the winter.

But people WANT their guns.

That shooter's mother owned the guns that he used to murder all those kids. She was a schoolteacher. Did she need those guns? Was she part of a well-regulated militia? Was she under threat from career criminals every day?

So, let's just admit it: we WANT our guns. We don't need them. And as long as we want the, we have to be willing to accept the deaths of young children as part of the package.

Guns were not invented to solve problems. They were invented to kill people.

And even sadder, we value our "right" to own a gun more than we value the "rights" of those kids to grow up, and the "rights" of their parents to get to watch their children grow up.

I don't know about you, but I value my son's life way more than I value your right to own a gun.

Addendum

I have two more things to add to that last post:

1. If you want to throw that whole second amendment thing around, go ahead. But just remember that 200 years ago, it was your right to own slaves and women were considered property.

We sorta frown on that stuff these days.

2. If you still think it's do damn important to own a gun, then YOU go up to a mother whose child was shot and killed today, and you tell them, "Hey, those guns were legally owned by the guy's mother. It was her right to own the gun that her son used to shoot and kill your kid. It was all legal, so it's okay."

'Cause I sure as fuck couldn't do that.

Speechless?

This isn't exactly the post I was intending to make today, but here it is.

I saw the news about the horrific day at the elementary school in Colorado was Tom and I were leaving the doctor's office. I had an appointment today to follow up with a biopsy after an abnormal pap smear last month, and I couldn't bring myself to watch more than a few minutes of the news updates before we left.

Then, I looked at my Facebook news feed. People updating their statuses with things like, "I have no words", and "Speechless".

Well, I, for one, am not speechless.

Today is not the day to debate gun control. Yesterday was.

How many more children have to die before we get serious about regulating guns in the United States? How many more mass shootings? Isn't this like the second one this month? Where are we, Somalia?

Anyone who tells you that to debate gun control so soon after a mass shooting of children is disrespectful to the victims is full of shit. It's a complete disregard of the lives of those eighteen children and the eight adults who were killed, and their families who are left behind to pick up the pieces, if we DON'T start talking about gun control. Right fucking now.

The reports I've seen have said that the gunman had two handguns. He most likely obtained those handguns legally.

So, legal handguns are okay, right?

Of course, guns don't kill people. But people with mental health issues who can obtain handguns legally - yeah, they kill people. If we take the handguns out of the equation, what could this guy have done - bludgeon twenty children to death with a salami?

Oh, and don't forget - if all those kids and teachers had had handguns, all obtained legally, of course, then they could have stopped him.

You can't solve the problem of violence with violence.

Fuck your moments of silence, your concerts to raise money, your stupid fucking awareness t-shirts and plastic rubber made-in-China bracelets.

How about some meaningful legislation to stop this kind of thing from happening?

How about some people just shut the fuck up about their "right" to own guns and let someone else talk for a little while.

Most of all, I would like to see the lives of those eighteen children avenged with the dismantling and banishment of the NRA. Forever.

My Weekly Blog?

Ugh, yes. Once again, things are just slightly above controlled chaos around here, so I haven't been able to do much on this blog. But tonight, I had the idea to try to photograph a couple of things, so here goes...

Many, many years ago, these little glass Ecospheres were popular. The Nature Company sold them, as did some other high-end specialty catalogs like Wireless. (Is Wireless even around anymore?)

Anyway, eighteen years ago, the first Christmas that Tom and I were dating, t his Ecosphere was a Christmas present to Tom from his parents. Inside was a whole little community of snails and shrimp. The idea was that when you put the sealed glass sphere in indirect sunlight, it would grow algae and thus be a self-containing ecosystem that would support these little life forms indefinitely.

Well, about three weeks in, all of the snails died, and all of the shrimp followed - except for one, tiny, bright red shrimp. Believe it or not, that last little shrimp is still alive.

After eighteen years.

It lives by itself (we can't tell if it's a he or a she), presumably living off the algae that grows on the sides of the glass sphere. Every once in a while, we give the ball a gentle turn to see if the shrimp is moving, and if it's still alive.

That little shrimp has moved with us up from New Jersey to Cadyville; from Cadyville to Lake Placid; from Lake Placid to our first house in Jay; and then, finally, to our current house in Jay, where it's been living either on top of the refrigerator or on one of the shelves near the big kitchen window.

Every once in a while, Tom looks it, gives it a gentle turn, sees the shrimp swimming around, and shakes his head. "What a lonely existence," he says.

It's true. That little shrimp has been by itself for almost two decades. Does it miss the other shrimp? Does it pine for some companionship?

On the surface, it seems like a perfectly happy little shrimp, subsisting on the algae that grows on the glass walls of the Ecosphere...

The Leap

Leap, and the net will appear - and all that jazz, right?

Most of you know that I've been an admirer and inspired by the amazing beadwork of Marcia DeCoster. Her explorations of right-angle weave and its uses in creating unique jewelry forms continually amaze me, so this morning, I decided to take the leap - and submit my application to be a student in her 2013 Bead & Button Master Class.

I've taken a lot of beading classes, and read a lot of beading books (including Marcia's fabulous Beaded Opulence), but being able to learn in-person from a master bead artist? That's just something that I think I owe myself, as an artist.

It's going to be a huge expense/investment for me and Tom. The class fee alone is over $1,000, and then I still have to come up with airfare, hotel room, meals, transportation, etc. But I can do it. I'm resourceful. And really, how often am I going to have a chance to study with someone like Marcia?

Of course, getting into the class is something else entirely. There's a huge demand for this kind of class, and only a few spots, so applicants are selected through a lottery. Still, it's worth trying. So this morning, I wrote out my application, included my deposit, and put it in the mail after dropping Colden off at school.

And now, speaking of beading, I have to go bead up a little baby spike and cylinder bead prayer vessel for next week's Beading Daily...

Attitude

We had a rough weekend. It started on Friday night when Colden just would not go to sleep, no matter what we did. I was exhausted to begin with, and it was like he just *knew* that I was running on empty. He came into our room around 10:30 and said, "Mommy, I pooped, and my butt hurts!" Tom was out like a light, so I got up and got Colden cleaned up, thinking that maybe now he would FINALLY go to sleep.

It didn't quite work. He wanted to stay up and play, and I couldn't keep him in his room for anything. Desperate to close my eyes, I told him he could play quietly with the iPad for a little while. Well, at 12:30, he came into our room and asked me to download a new game for him.

Tom got up and took the iPad away, which led to our overtired kid having a complete meltdown. While Tom stoked the fire in the wood stove, I cuddled up with my sobbing, exhausted kid and massaged his back and his feet until he fell asleep. But I was too tired to move, and I shut my eyes against his warm little body.

Next thing I know, it's 6:00 a.m., and Colden is wide awake and rarin' to go.

We went to Plattsburgh to do some shopping, and I felt awful the whole time. Lightheaded and dizzy, like I could just have tucked my head down and fallen asleep at any moment.

I had a light lunch, and then threw some soup on to cook so Colden and I could go see the tree lighting at the park in AuSable Forks.

Well, I should have had more for lunch, and a nap, because between the cold (it was only about 19 degrees), the hunger, and the lack of sleep, I found that I couldn't stand up for more than a minute or two without feeling seriously like I was going to pass out right there. I had to lean against the traffic signal post to steady myself while I tried to keep my eyes open. I tried to get Colden back to the car, but he burst out crying that he didn't want to miss the tree lighting.

So, I stayed.

They finally lit the tree - 45 minutes late - and we got to see Santa, and then we had to wait another 15 minutes just to get out of the parking lot. By then, the cold and the low blood sugar and the exhaustion led me to have a full-on panic attack in the car.

Somehow, I got us both home. Colden fell asleep in the car, and I was literally too weak to carry him inside. Tom brought him inside for me, and then I tried to get us settled down with a big bowl of homemade soup.

Colden didn't want any soup, but he certainly wanted to go to sleep. So, after a snack of peanut butter and jelly, he got into his pajamas and fell asleep almost instantly.

I went to yoga class the next afternoon. It was a little more physically intense than I had expected - I had a hard time coming out of the forward bends. I would stand up and get so dizzy that it felt as though I was going to completely lose my balance and fall sideways. Instead of feeling elated, strong, and refreshed the way I had the previous week, I came home feeling weak, shaky, and panicky.

The panicky feeling lasted all night and into the morning, even after a high-protein breakfast. (I thought that maybe I just had some low blood sugar stuff going on.) And I must have been exerting myself more than usual, because every single muscle in my body just aches today. Even the muscles in my side where we stretched them out in the side angle stretch are sore to the touch.

Today, it just felt like I couldn't do anything right. I couldn't concentrate. I had no focus. I'm amazed I managed to get myself organized enough to get to the post office after lunch.

I think I screwed something up with an old friend of mine, and it makes me feel terrible to think about it. I keep trying to not beat myself up over it, but there it is, as usual: me, screwing up again. Seriously, sometimes I think I have a social disorder or something. It makes me feel terrible, because I don't have the intention of doing these stupid things. I just lose my focus for one tiny second, and then I think, oh, man, that really wasn't a good idea... And to make me feel even worse about it, it's someone that I care deeply about.

I know that sometimes I go too far into myself, and then it's hard for me to come out and connect with people again. When someone points it out to me, I feel silly - I mean, it's just beads, right? Do I just need to lighten up a bit these days? Why am I feeling so dark? Is it the lack of sunlight?

I'm starting to think that something frivolous and self-pampering is in order this week. Like a manicure and a cupcake.

Until then, there are things to do...

Surrounded By Art

I saw this pop up in my news feed on Facebook this morning, and I just thought, yes. This is why I love being in the company of artists and beaders.

We're flawed people, just like everybody else, but in general, the company that I keep are more concerned with the bigger picture than just with how much money we can accumulate. We're concerned with how other people are being treated. We go deeper, into ourselves, and come up with these beautiful works of art that we spend hours and hours crafting...

Then I realize that I am surrounded by art. My favorite old sitcoms - yes, those are art, too. The actors and actresses have created characters that I love. (I'm sorry, but even the best episode of "reality t.v." sucks compared to the worst episode of Frasier or 3rd Rock From the Sun.)

There's the music I listen to while I write and bead. Yeah, again, some people would tell me that it's crap, but it's what moves me and inspires me, and that's what art is supposed to do, right?

Even what I see when I look out the window is art. I can capture that view with my camera and turn it into a picture.

It's all art. It's all about what you put your soul into, what moves your heart to create and sing.

And with that said, I have about a zillion little threads to weave in before my latest whopper spike necklace is finished, so, see ya later...

No Macular Degeneration!

A few weeks ago, I had a killer migraine. Nothing new there, I figured it was just my hormones trying to kill me again, but a couple of days later, I noticed a strange, grey, blurry spot in the center of my field of vision in my left eye.

Not want to mess about with something like that, and since I had been told about ten years ago that I had the beginnings of macular degeneration in my left eye, I made an appointment with the eye doctor. A scan of my retina and macular area did indeed show a buildup of fluid in that area, so the eye doctor referred me to the retina specialist for a follow up. The eye doctor kept asking me how old I was, since macular degeneration isn't something that usually shows up until you're in your 50s or 60s.

There's a history of macular degeneration in my family - my grandfather eventually lost his sight to it, and my mother was told she also had the beginnings of it in her eyes before she passed away in 2008.

The appointment with the retina specialist was today, and I was more than a little nervous. I wasn't looking forward to the tests and I was afraid that I would hear that the macular degeneration was getting worse.

Well, lo and behold: in walks this Melrose-Place-hot Bulgarian doctor (probably not a lot older than me), and he takes a good long look in both eyes with those horrible Medieval-torture-bright lights, and he shows me my scans and tells me: it's NOT macular degeneration!

I was so relieved, I almost leapt out of the chair.

The scans proved it: all the fluid that was behind my retina last time was gone. The doctor said that what I have is a central serous retinopathy, which usually has an excellent prognosis, provided that I take care to manage my stress levels. (Stress levels? Me?) The cause of the reinopathy is either idiopathic (meaning that they don't know what causes it) or from a high level of cortisol in the body, usually as a response to stress. He said there was some scar tissue back there, meaning that I've had attacks of this before, but this was just the first time that I'd ever noticed it.

So, my response to the whole thing was to go out and buy myself a brand-new yoga kit: new, extra-thick mat; two blocks; a strap; a blanket; and an embroidered cotton mat bag. Because, really, I can't let this get the better of me. If my body is trying to tell me something, I had damn best take care to listen.

Yoga

It's been a very long time since I went to a yoga class. I used to go when my friend Emily taught at the little "massage garage" down the hill from my house, but since she left and the space has been turned into a financial advisement office, I haven't been able to find anywhere nearby for yoga classes.

There were classes offered in Lake Placid and Plattsburgh, but really, I just couldn't bring myself to schlep 20+ miles at the end of a work day when chaos seems to reign supreme around here.

When I hurt my back nearly two weeks ago, I tried doing some gentle yoga stretches for my lower back to help, and my friend Emily messaged me that there were community yoga classes at Keene Arts in the old church in Keene every Sunday afternoon!

Perfect timing (on a Sunday afternoon, just when I need to get out of the house before I go completely stir crazy), perfect location (a short 15 minute drive), and what a beautiful space!

It was a packed class last night, and the only light inside the old church was from the candles that Robin, the instructor, had placed throughout the big room.

I sat quietly on my mat and followed my breathing for a little while before we got started. I was amazed at how easy the first part of the practice was - I'm really good with the standing and balance poses - but those seated/lying down poses that are supposed to stretch your hamstrings were a good reminder that, yes, I do need to continue my practice.

At one point when we were doing a side angle pose, I noticed that my feet felt strange. Sort of like they weren't attached to the rest of my body, and that I was sort of floating away. I stayed focused on my breath and brought my attention to other parts of my body, and after a few seconds like that, I was overcome with this sense of...joy. There's no other word for it.

The rest of the practice was refreshing and uplifting. I was glad that I had my traveling bracelet with me, and I took its picture in front of the candles that were at the front of the room, directly at the head of my yoga mat throughout the entire practice.

On the drive home, the nearly-full moon reflected down on the AuSable River and bounced off the trees and the light coating of new snow in the fields along route 9N. It felt like magic, and had I been able to get a picture in the dark of that beautiful scene, I would have...

Sure, this morning, my muscles feel like they're all made of rubber. But I guess that's to be expected when I sit in front of a computer all day.

I feel like I've found a wonderful new Sunday afternoon ritual for myself. I really should have written about it last night while it was fresh in my mind, but I wanted to just savor that feeling and the whole experience for a while...

I'm feeling ready to tackle the day ahead of me.

Enough

As Thanksgiving nears, I see lots of activity on Facebook with messages about boycotting Black Friday.

This little eeCard seems to sum it up nicely for me. Every year for the last few years, I've been horrified to see people camping out, lining up, trampling and beating each other just to buy STUFF. Stuff that they don't even NEED. Stuff to just take up space in their home. Stuff with no soul, no life.

My senior year of college, I had to take an advanced environmental policy research class. It involved doing research on specific environmental issues and then giving presentations to the rest of the class, including leading a discussion about the issue. The first topic I was assigned was, of all things, consumption and sustainability.

It made me realize just how crazy and unsustainable our way of life is in the U.S. Shopping is considered a recreational sport. We lust and long for the latest electronic gadget, only to cast it aside in a year's time for the next model. We fill our landfills with garbage that will probably be there long after the human race has gone extinct as a species.

And why do we do this again?

A few months ago, I had to upgrade my cell phone.  According to Verizon, they no longer offered the plan we had under our contract, and if I wanted to renew my contract and keep my cell service, I had to upgrade to a plan that included an allowance for data usage. I could have kept my old plan - for an additional $75 fee per month, going month to month. Or, I could pay just $30 additional every month for a plan that includes 2G of data usage.

Since my old phone wasn't compatible with a data plan, I had to upgrade to a new smartphone. Which cost me another $30 up front, even though the phone itself was free. I chose an iPhone, mainly just to see what the fuss is all about.

So, it's a nice looking phone. It does things. It's like a mini iPad that I can use to make phone calls and take pictures.

But do I really *need* all that?

Seriously, I could have gotten by with my old phone. I don't *need* to be able to check my email and browse the web whenever I feel like it. In fact, I actually need time AWAY from the computer more than anything these days.

I think a lot of this comes back to the old questions, "Sure, we CAN do these things, but SHOULD we?"

I appreciate how hard the retail business can be. During the 2 years that I owned my shop, my take-home pay from that business was $300 a month, if I was lucky. I finally had to get a second job to supplement that so I could pay bills and not starve, even with Tom working full-time. Then, when I was staying home with Colden and relying on sales from farmer's markets and Etsy for my income, it was always a hard decision to make around the holidays: do I add to the Black Friday madness, or do I encourage people to stay away from the computer, stay away from shopping, and do some reflecting on what they should be thankful for during the holiday weekend?

When I was in high school, I remember going shopping on the day after Thanksgiving. Of course, this was 20+ years ago. There were no huge lines to get into the stores. Sure, the mall was busy, because lots of people and lots of kids were off from work and school, and they figured they would get started on their Christmas shopping. But there were no stampedes, no workers killed or injured because of half-crazed shoppers looking for the best bargains.

Now, with Wal-Mart paying slave wages and forcing their full-time workers to rely on public assistance programs to feed their families, I find it more important than ever for people to stop and think about what they're doing.

What if everyone stopped to think before they crushed an employee to death on Black Friday so that they could score a flat screen t.v.? What if people stopped to think before they ran up their credit cards buying useless stuff that won't enrich their lives? What if people tried to live more thoughtful lives all year long?

Not that I sell a lot of stuff on Etsy and ArtFire, but this year, I will be closing both shops down for the holiday weekend, including Cyber Monday. If someone wants to buy something this weekend, I would encourage them to do so from their favorite locally-owned business. Not a franchise. Not a big box store. Show your favorite Etsy seller some love. Go to your favorite locally-owned cafe or book store, and show them you care by spending your hard-earned money there.

Sure, you're going to probably pay more than if you shop at a big box store. But your return on investment will be priceless.

Memories and Thanks Blog Hop

So, this morning, as I'm knocking things off my to-do list left and right, squealching down the panic at the idea that Thanksgiving is in just a few days and I have to start cooking, and trying to recover from a weekend where I threw my back out and had to play Single Mom while Tom was away, I took a few moments to sign up for Lori Anderson's Memories and Thanks Blog Hop.

Lori wanted to do something to honor the memory of a friend she had never met, and she decided to host a blog hop where participants create a piece of jewelry to tell the story of someone who inspired them or meant something to them. What a wonderful idea!

The blog hop itself isn't until after the holidays, and sign ups run until the 29th of November. Just click on the picture, read through the text, and click the link to sign up. No exchanges are necessary for this blog hop - all you have to do is create a special piece of jewelry.

For me, I'm hoping that doing this blog hop will give me something to think about when I feel like my to-do list is getting the better of me and I'm feeling overwhelmed by the holiday season. It'll give me something to do when I need to take a few minutes to step back and think about what I'm really thankful for, in the midst of the driving and cooking and wrapping...

Lonely

I'm feeling sort of lonely today. Yes, it's nice to have the place to myself sometimes, and most days, I love the solitude of the fireplace and the radio and having Moose all to myself. But today, I'm just feeling lonely, and I wish Tom could come home from work early, even if it means he's just going to sit next to me and watch movies on Netflix while I work.

We found out yesterday that his co-worker's stepdaughter, who is in her late 20s and has a daughter of her own not too much older than Colden, was diagnosed with Stage 3 Lymphatic Cancer after having a lymph node removed a couple of weeks ago. We're crossing our fingers for her - after living a rather wild life for most of her teenage years, in the last few years, she has settled down, quit smoking and cut out alcohol, and has been working at being a responsible mother to her daughter.

It just gave me a chill when Tom told me on the phone. This is the second person this week that I know who has been given a diagnosis of cancer. What's going on here? Does anyone else seem to think this is a horrifying epidemic we're experiencing in this country? Why are so many young people being diagnosed with this disease?

Artistically, I'm feeling sort of stumped this week. I'm so, so close to finishing my next spike bead necklace so that I can move on and finish two more pieces before my November 30 deadline with my friend Sue, but there's just this sort of...inertia when I sit down to attach the components. It really doesn't take me too long to do each one, but I just feel as though there's something holding me back. I don't know what. Maybe it's my fear that once I complete this piece, I have soooooo many other pieces that need/want my attention. And deadlines. Lots and lots of deadlines...

Whatever it is, I need to focus this afternoon and get my act together. No sense in letting the anxiety get the best of me. I'm too busy for that shit right now. Forward.

Retreat

Yep, today, I gave up. Retreat. Backed away from what I was doing with this piece. I thought I was going to connect these spike components so that they would be vertical, but after connecting about six of them, I realized that I hated the way it looked. It wasn't comfortable. It didn't lay straight. And it was awkward when I tried to hang the pendant.

So, bah. Better to tear it apart now and come up with something else than to forge on ahead and realize that the idea should have been scrapped earlier.

Instead, I'm falling back on one of my favorite bumpy herringbone ropes, and I'll sling them over the flat, straight parts of the rope and let the bumps hold them in place. It works much better, lends itself to embellishment much easier, and makes it easier to hang the pendant.

I'm also just feeling a need to retreat from things and people today. This thing with the grey fuzzy spot in my left field of vision is driving me mad. I don't have my appointment with the retina specialist until the 27th, more than two weeks away. As always, the lack of information is causing me incredible anxiety. The eye doctor did say that there was some fluid building up in that eye where they diagnosed me with the beginnings of macular degeneration seven or eight years ago. But he didn't know if this spot was from that, or from that last whiz-bang migraine, or what. Is it weird to hope that it's "only" from the macular degeneration?

I also have not recovered from the stupid upper respiratory bug I came down with last weekend. It's gone straight to my chest, and last night, after spending the afternoon beading with my dear friend for the first time in over a year, I discovered that I had completely lost my voice. Completely. It hurt to talk. I tried to keep my speech to a minimum today, and it's a little better, but it still feels like I have to force my words out of my vocal cords. Ouchy. (Which is why Tom is reading to Colden for bedtime tonight.) When I woke up this morning, I had a wicked headache and a chest full of hot phlegm. Great way to start the day, right?

For now, it's time to get into my comfy jammies, smear some Vicks on my chest, and try to get some rest. I've got three new books on the iPad to choose from tonight, and my pillow and warm flannel sheets are calling to me...

9 Years

Yep, that's us, nine years ago tonight. It was 19 degrees, and it snowed a bit, and there was a full eclipse of the moon that we all trudged outside to see, still in our wedding regalia.

When I reminded Tom that we have been married for nine years tonight, he couldn't believe it. "It doesn't seem like that long," he said, even though we now have a house of our own, a son, car payments, and laundry to do.

True, there are still times when we find that we have a few minutes to ourselves, and it feels like we just met. We're still finding things out about ourselves and each other. Keeps life interesting.

I suspect that tonight will be just like any other night around our house, except with an extra glass of wine or two. Colden will go to bed after dinner and a bath, and maybe Tom and I will curl up in front of the wood stove, or in front of a movie...

Waking Up in America

This morning, it feels good to be waking up in America. Not only did women oust the misogynist GOP representatives who yammered on about "legitimate rape" and a pregnancy resulting from rape being a "gift from God", but Barack H. Obama won a second, well-deserved term as our President.

Now, don't get me wrong. If you voted for the other guy, I still love you. But if you think that Obama only won a second term because of all the "freeloaders" who voted for him, I suggest you go for a walk in the world this morning.

I live in a part of New York where there are many, many people who receive some form of government assistance through food stamps, supplemental or disability income, or housing subsidies. When I look around my community, do I see a bunch of freeloaders?

No, I most definitely do NOT.

I see men and women who work at jobs that are physically demanding, day after day. I see men and women who work to support their children and their families. I see men and women who work two and three jobs to try to make ends meet. I see men and women who do whatever they have to to keep their homes warm during the long, cold winters up here. And I see men and women who desperately want to improve their situations and not have to rely on those government "handouts". I see men and women who WANT to be self-sufficient, but who have not been provided with the necessary tools and basic human requirements (health care, living wage) to do so.

Surely, these cannot be the "freeloaders" who rely on their government assistance because they're too lazy to pull themselves up by the bootstraps. Can they?

So, America, take a deep breath. Smile at someone today, because you never know what battles that person is fighting. Go for a long, slow walk. And most of all, appreciate the fact that you are waking up in America.

Amulets

I was fascinated by this book that I saw on Amazon a few months ago. Amulets: Sacred Charms of Power and Protection is a great overview of how magical objects are used by cultures throughout history and around the world.

My first glance through this book resulted in several new ideas for beaded jewelry designs, and as I'm thinking about what I want to accomplish in 2013, I'm thinking that maybe a series of beaded jewelry or beaded objects based on the amulets in this book might be just the thing.

Fascinating to read about all the different objects, both man made and natural, that have been used throughout history as protection against the dark magic and bad luck. Beads play a prominent role in many of the amulets pictured and discussed in the book.

A quick read, inspirational, and perfect for someone looking to incorporate some magic into their beading and jewelry making projects!

Where Am I Going?

A couple of weeks ago, I finished my Artist's Way journey for something like the tenth time. I love going through the tasks and readings in The Artist's Way, because every time I do, I find something new in my creative unconscious.

This time, I woke up one morning shortly after completing the last week with this urge to create a bead embroidered doll. I've seen lovely bead embroidered art dolls everywhere in the last few years, and now I want to make one to be a companion for me during my travels and my whole beading journey in general.

I have no idea how to start, but I do have some sweet polymer clay faces that I made with Colden a few weeks ago. Those will probably be a good starting point. And I have a few pieces of Ultrasuede that will make a nice doll...and Lord knows, I have enough polyester stuffing that I've been hoarding in the basement since we moved in back in 2003...

The other adventure upon which I'm embarking is my collaborations with my insanely talented friend, Susan Tompkins. Sue is working on some paintings using Nicole's Beadbacking, my favorite bead embroidery medium, which apparently can be painted on like a canvas. When Sue is finished, she's sending me the pieces so that I can add bead embroidery, bead-weaving, and whatever else I can think of. Maybe some fringe?

It feels as though my direction for 2013 is going to be more explorations with non-wearable beaded art. Beaded dolls, wall-hangings, beaded pictures...it should be interesting. Stay tuned!

Gorn

The other day, in honor of NaSeBeMo (National Seed Beading Month), I decided to take a little bit of a long lunch break and finish my latest bead embroidery cuff bracelet, Gorn.

For anyone who is wondering, yes, I named it after that race of green reptilian creatures from the old Star Trek episodes. Not that I'm a huge fan of Star Trek, mind you, but the bottle green of the glass in the handmade raku MAKUstudio cabochon and the mottled bottle green of the glass spikes from York Beads just called to me. I paired them with a piece of that fabulous tilapia fish leather that I got from Nature Beads at Bead Fest back in August. It just sort of came together all by itself.

This was one of those designs that I went over in my head about a million times before I just decided, to hell with it, and I pushed aside the other sixteen beading projects I have on my trays and pulled together the materials for this one.

A tip to anyone who has some of the tilapia leather but hasn't used it yet: get yourself some glover's needles before you start stitching on it. That fish leather is just as tough as regular cowhide leather, and I actually BROKE a Tulip needle trying to stitch through it.

Choosing the method for edging the cuff was hard. I had thought about doing a whip stitch with seed beads, but didn't like the way it looked. It was just too busy, and detracted from the cabochon and the spikes.

So, in the end, I decided to go with my usual brick stitch edging, and I was quite happy with the results.

Wouldn't you know it: during our trip to the thrift shop on Saturday to stock up on more little "stay in your own bed all night" toys for Colden, I just happened to find *the* perfect sweater to go with this cuff. Yes, I thought about listing it in my Etsy shop...but when I tried it on, it just fit so perfectly on my wrist that I knew there was no way I was going to part with this baby.

Now, totally inspired, I spent part of yesterday working on my next spike bead project: a necklace using double-pointed spike components with a large, beautiful, gemstone pendant. I got sidetracked, however, by a kid who needed help pooping on the potty, followed by - what else? - the second stomach virus passed on to me by my dear husband in as many weeks.

More on the next spike bead project coming soon...

Mission

Today, I want all of you reading this to stop for a minute, take a deep breath, and think about what is true and beautiful.

I want you to understand that truth and beauty can only be found in you: they can't be found in a book, in a religious or political leader, or in a bank account.

We should be seeking only truth and beauty in our lives. Anything else is not worth our energy and our breath.

Don't hide behind your Bible, your Torah, or your Koran. You'll know what feels true and good and real when your heart tells you.

Don't fool yourself into thinking that someone else needs to tell you what is right. You know; you've probably known all along.

If you are afraid to share your truth, then there is a reason. Don't be afraid. Examine it more closely.

It is important that our lives be real and authentic. Don't settle for anything else. Don't be afraid to be wrong.