Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Reset Button

So, I'm not going into the details here, but last night, someone shot me down with something really negative, right in my face. It made me cry for most of the night, and it's left me feeling close to tears all morning. I think usually it wouldn't have bothered me so much, because I can usually let stuff like that go, but this was kind of a last straw type of deal. It just reminded me too much of the nonsense and hostility that went on when I had my shop a few years ago, and I think that's why it hurt me so badly.

We also found out last night that our friends have to have their wonderful, sweet, 14-year-old Labrador put down today. We've grown very fond of her these last few years, and it's not going to be easy to say good-bye.

It's not going to be an easy day.

Instead of continuing to push myself with the last few videos, I'm taking a day off today, taking Colden to Target to get some diapers and Play Doh, and then if it's not raining, we're going to go to the playground later today.

I'm just done with the bad stuff today, and I need to get it out.

I'm going into Lake Placid to write tonight, but before I do, I'm going to take a nice walk around Mirror Lake. I haven't done that in a long time, and I think it might be a good way to clear my head.

The one thing that made me laugh this morning was sitting on Colden's bed with him while we ate breakfast. We were watching Baby Wordsworth (one of the Baby Einstein DVDs that he love so much), and Colden was doing all the signs and saying all the words, some of which I had never heard him say before this morning! And I love hearing him say "avocado", or at least, trying to say "avocado". And whenever I take the milk jug out of the refrigerator, he points to the cow on the label and lets out a big, "Moooooooo!"

Whatever else I might do, whatever mistakes I make in life, I will always strive to be a good mother to my son.

No comments: