Friday, November 04, 2011

Trying Times

We had a potty training meltdown this morning.

What is going on?!

Colden wouldn't get on the potty to poop. He ran away from me every time I tried to get him in the bathroom. I finally got him on the potty, and then he wanted to read every single book he owns. I couldn't get him off the potty. When I tried to get him off, he started screaming and just went limp so that I couldn't pick him up. I finally relented, and we wound up getting over to Oma and Opa's house at ten o clock in the morning.

Of course, the whole time this was going on, I was thinking about all the things I had to do today: the work, the writing, the beading, the photographs, the appointment for acupuncture... And I could feel myself just getting more and more stressed out. I had to walk away from Colden while he was sitting on the potty just to get myself together.

And then I start thinking that I must be doing something wrong. Is Colden's behavior my fault? Am I allowing him to get away with having a temper tantrum? Am I "enabling" as someone once told me?

The whole thing starts to make me feel like a very inadequate mother.

On the other hand, some mornings it's HARD getting a nearly-four-year-old washed, dressed and well-fed before we get out the door all by myself. Colden is a bright, active kid. It's hard to find a balance between letting him assert himself and making sure that I can get him to do the basics all within a reasonable amount of time.

On a good note, a friend emailed me this morning and asked me to have lunch with her. And I rescheduled my acupuncture appointment for later this afternoon. That will be a very nice break for me today.


Karen Firnberg said...

I remember this age. Vividly.

From 3 1/2 to 4 years of age, I thought someone had swapped my sweet baby with an alien. It's a very predictable phase, it turns out. They are trying to assert their independence without the skills to do so.

Pick your fights. There is hope. By 4, my daughter turned back into my sweet girl.

VanBeads said...

Oooooh, thank you, Karen. Usually, my little man is just as sweet as can be. Yesterday he was having separation issues, too - the whole time we were trying to get dressed, he would stop and start crying, "Mommy, stay wif me today!" It kills me because I just *couldn't* drop everything to stay with him.

But he'll get plenty of Mommy Time this weekend. We'll bake cookies and go to Target - he loves to do both with me.

Melanie said...

Oh Jen, I feel your pain and frustration. Potty training is hard, especially for pooping! If you are having a hard time with that particularly, let me know and I can send you the info I found. :)