Love - And Turning Off the T.V.

"For small creatures such as we the vastness is only bearable through love." ~Carl Sagan

I had started out this morning thinking that I was going to write about my amazing weekend at yoga and the two pieces I finished. But that was before I heard about the Boston marathon, and the bombs that went off.

Within minutes, Facebook was lit up like a freaking Christmas tree with all this insane speculation, misinformation, and crazy conspiracy theories. People vowing revenge, promising justice, etc.

And I just packed up my yoga mat and drove to class.

No one was talking about the bombings. No one was saying things like, "Oh, how horrible!", or, "Did you hear..."

It was just five of us students, and Robin, our teacher, focusing on our breath and our bodies and trying to create stillness in our minds.

I didn't listen to the radio on the way home from class. I plugged in my iPod and listened to whatever music I had on there.

When I got home, I decided that I was not going to look at Yahoo news, or CNN or any of those kinds of places. And it's not because I don't care, but it's because I don't want to add one tiny little bit of energy to the hype that's created over this kind of tragedy.

The event itself is bad enough - the bombs, the injuries, the deaths, the terror. Why do the news media insist on dramatizing it even further?

I think that there are some people who, deep down on some primal level, crave this kind of tragedy. They feed off the negative energy. I feel that, too, sometimes, but that's when I pop "2012" or "Dante's Peak" into the DVD player. Disaster porn, imaginary drama, is all I have a taste for these days, I'm afraid.

What if we all did that? What if in the face of a tragedy, we decided to ignore all the rabid speculation and the milking-it-for-ratings coverage on the t.v. news?

I probably won't listen to the radio while I'm working today. I will go to Yoga class tonight and set my intention for the class and my meditation, wishing peace for all sentient beings.

Bead Soup Blog Party - My Big Reveal!

I'm so excited I'm so excited I'm so excited!

Can you tell I'm excited?

Okay, without further ado, here is what I created with those fabulous beads from Tina Holden, which I've decided to call, "Be Love":

Isn't it a doozy? I don't know why I was drawn to this set from the two that Tina sent me, but I think it was a combination of the colors and the heart pendant. I don't often work with hearts, and that was a challenge for me. I enjoy a good challenge lately, and this one was so inspiring!

Picking the colors for the triple spiral rope (thank you, Nancy Dale, for the amazing tutorial!) was something else. I had this assortment of beads on my bead mat that looked totally awful in the tubes - blues, greys, golds, brown, orange... I thought, there's no way those colors are going to work. Ugly!

But, I picked up my needle and thread and started stitching. And stitching, and stitching, because triple spiral rope takes three times as long to make as a regular spiral rope, doncha know!

The colors just blended together beautifully, just as they did in Tina's gorgeous set. I was absolutely thrilled to see how the spiral turned out, and it made me feel much better about trusting my own innate sense of color.

I learned a couple of things about triple spiral rope, too. The first is that thread choice is EVERYTHING.

I started out using a piece of moss green Spiderwire fishing line, thinking that it's a little thinner than Fireline and probably wouldn't clog up the bead holes so fast. What I didn't realize is that Spiderwire tangles like crazy - and when you're using 15 feet of beading thread, yeah, a few tangles can definitely slow you down.

After I finished the first 3-inch section of triple spiral, I switched over to Fireline and was absolutely amazed at how much easier it is to use when working a triple spiral! The beads just slipped together nicely, even if they did get a bit unruly at the end. Which led me to discovery number 2...

When working a triple spiral, always bead much looser than you normally do! Really. Like I said in my blog earlier this week, once I loosened up, those core beads and accent loops just lined themselves up perfectly, with very little cajoling from me.

Attaching the segments of triple spiral was a learning experience, too. It's one thing to be able to join sections of spiral rope, or even double spiral, when you can at least see the core beads pretty easily, but trying to join the sections of triple spiral, where you have to try to peek under nine or twelve little outer spirals is definitely not for the faint of heart. I lost count of how many times I stuck the needle into the core beads where it came out the other side and directly into my fingertip. Ouch!

 I'm so in love with this piece... I briefly thought about selling it, but, nah, I think this one is a keeper. Wearing it will be a good reminder to me that I need to be love, to give and receive love, and to trust myself and the Universe that it will all work out okay in the end.

If you're totally in love with the handmade polymer clay beads, button, and focal in this piece, I suggest you check out Tina Holden's Etsy Shop and see all of the other amazing goodies she has in there. You'll find beautiful polymer clay cabochons and beads, as well as lots and lots of fabulous tutorials and supplies for making your own polymer clay pieces. And, of course, don't forget to check out Tina's blog to see what she made with the sparkly dichroic cab soup I sent her!

And, of course, make sure that you spend some time checking out all of the other amazing reveals today in the 2nd Reveal of the 7th Bead Soup Blog Party! Cheers!

WTFriday: What's Up With the Weather Today?

Today is April 12. We're nearly two weeks into April. And this morning, we woke up to roads covered in ice, freezing rain, and our onion gardens covered in snow...

The ice pellets have been smacking and cracking against the windows all morning. The fire is roaring in the wood stove, because it's freezing cold outside. The snow is starting to pile up on the road in front of the house...

And I just have to wonder...WTF is up with the weather today?

Don't get me wrong: I love winter. I love the snow, and those days when it's so nice and cozy in front of the fire, slipping into warm pajamas...

But I'm ready for some warmer weather. I'm ready for some sunshine. I'm even ready for some warm summer thunderstorms.

Alas, this morning, we have one more storm to deal with before we can get to those things.

I've also got to deal with this crushing headache, no doubt from the low atmospheric pressure of the storm.

The forecast is calling for temperatures in the high 50s and low 60s in the coming week... Dare I hope?

Gumdrop Mandala

So, here's a quick clip of a piece that I CAN show you.

A couple of years ago, I fell in love with Wendy Ellsworth's fabulous book, Beading the Creative Spirit. I followed her instructions for creating simple beaded mandalas, and I found that stitching those little beauties is a wonderful beading meditation for me. I pick the patterns for the beads, pick the colors based on what kind of energy I want to bring to the piece...

Then last fall, I thought of an idea for a necklace (which is also still in progress, yikes) that was a series of simple bead embroidered components strung together with bits of spiral rope.

But then after I finished my Hoarder of Beauty necklace, and I started to think about other ways to use those sweet little gumdrop beads, I thought about making a series of beaded mandalas with gumdrop centers. Why not, right?

These little beauties were so much fun to make. Whenever I felt the need to take a break, I would work on one. The soothing repetition of each little mandala worked its magic on me and my anxious thoughts, and pretty soon, I had more than enough for the collar.

This is just a potential layout, with gumdrop spacers between each mandala. I made a copy of a collar template from Heidi Kummli's book, The Spirit of Bead Embroidery. After I enlarged it, I traced it onto a piece of clear plastic from a milk jug, and now I use it whenever I need to trace a template for a collar.

I love the idea of creating a large-scale, intricate piece of bead embroidery from a set of smaller pieces. It makes it seem less intimidating - instead of working on a huge piece, I can break it down into smaller sections.

So, now my next step will be to start attaching these mandalas, and then to figure out if I want to fringe the piece or not. I'm thinking about adding long swags under the bottom of each mandala, or possibly long, thin loops between each mandala.

The colors I chose were for healing and hope and peace. And speaking of which, it's almost time for yoga class tonight, where I am very much looking forward to getting a good workout, both spiritually and physically.

Bead Soup

This is how Bead Soup gets made:

Before: My beads start out in nice little piles, all neat and organized.

After: The result of numerous instances of tearing out beadwork and playing with colors results in little piles of not-so-neat-and-organized beads that get put into little plastic baggies and tossed into my cabinets until I need them for something in a few years.






That's about all I can show you of my Bead Soup Blog Party piece until Saturday - I know, right? I really stink at keeping secrets, and this one is KILLING me. It's so totally unlike anything I would have ever thought about making, and the colors were a challenge, and the construction was a challenge...

But you'll just have to wait to read all about that one.

And while we're on the subject of challenges and waiting...

My friend Suzanne Branca of A Grain of Sand discovered these fabulous mercury glass beads while digging through the famous Bead Hoard, and she wondered if I'd like to create something with them for Beading Daily! Well, yeah!

And as much as I'd love to, I really can't show you what I'm doing with these beads, either. But I can tell you that it involves purple seed beads and cubic right-angle weave.

The silver strand next to them are antique Ethiopian tribal silver that I won in an eBay auction last week. (Thanks, Perry, for bringing those to my attention. Not.)

Tomorrow is a day for quality time with the camera, and beading... And snow. Yeah. A winter storm heading our way, threatening to dump a few inches of snow, sleet, and freezing rain on us. Nice winter we're having this spring, eh?

Loosen Up

Once upon a time, back when I owned a bead shop, I was talking with some of my business partners and fellow beaders about tension in beadwork. We talked about how getting just the right tension was important for pretty much any beading project. A few of us joked about how tension in beading was related to personality, at which I quipped, "Well, I always bead really, really tightly - so what does that make me?"

Working through this project for the Bead Soup Blog Party on Saturday (yikes!), I realized that working with a tight tension is not conducive to a good triple spiral rope. Really. I've been trying so hard to control where the core beads line up, and how the spirals lay against each other... The first few sections of this rope were so frustrating, I almost wanted to give up.

Then, lo and behold, for some reason this morning, I decided to back off on my tension.

I could feel the difference in the beadwork instantly! Instead of fighting with each new core bead, they just sort of stacked up on top of each other neatly. The little set of spirals around the core stopped fighting each other, too.

And, sort of miraculously, the headache I had been fighting all day disappeared, too.

So, yes, maybe I'm reading too much into this, but with all the life lessons that I'm learning lately, maybe the next one that my beads are trying to teach me is to back off and loosen up a little. Stop trying to control everything (control freak that I am) and just sort of go with the flow...

Those little beads of mine are so smart, sometimes.

Procrastination

So, I *should* be working on my Battle of the Beadsmith entry right now. I should...

But, I'm not.

Instead, I'm trying to finish this gumdrop mandala necklace that I started a couple of weeks ago.

Why am I playing with these bead embroidered mandalas instead of working on my Battle piece?

Well, for starters, while I have a design in mind and sketched out and have the first big part of it ready to go, I'm just sort of letting the idea ferment for a bit more.

I'm also still trying to work out a design issue, and while I can't tell you exactly what it is or what the final design will be, I can tell you that this is something brand-new to me that I've never tried before.

Am I a little nervous about attempting this? Well, yeah. But then again, last year when I created my Battle of the Beadsmith piece, I tried something completely different for me. I had absolutely no idea if it would work out, but after a little time spent playing with my idea, well, it worked out pretty well, I think...

I can't tell you what my final design will be, or the theme, or anything about it, really. But I can tell you this: the idea came to me, as so many great ideas do, while I was relaxing in a hot lavender bath. I had my sketchbook, my iPad, and a few of my favorite jewelry design books handy. The idea just sort of popped in there, and after I did a little research about it, it clicked. I just sort of KNEW that it was the right design for this year's competition. 

Hey, I may not make it past the first round again this year, but one thing about this competition is for sure: it's pushing me to design and create pieces that test my limits, and banish my fears about beading!

WTFriday: Getting Old Already?

So, the other day, I was in the natural foods store, looking down at the label on a bottle of essential oil, and I realized that I was having a hard time reading the tiny print on the side of the bottle.

Woa.

I had to squint a bit, move it into the light, before I could make out what was written on the label.

Sure, I've gotten used to wearing my amazing CraftOptics when I bead. And, as I had to remind myself, I'm turning 39 in a few weeks. That's almost 40.

Like my father always says, getting old sure beats the alternative. My therapist had to remind me the other day that I can't get up at 5, hike 7 miles, then put in an 8-hour shift because, well, I'm not 24 anymore.

But, GEEZ! So, here, for my WTFriday post, I'm giving it up and making an appointment with the optometrist to get my vision checked. It's been a while since I had new glasses, anyway, and it looks like things have changed since my last prescription...

Attack

Well, I did it. Went to two yoga classes yesterday: the morning class was a mixed levels Vinyasa class, and it was wonderful. I left class feeling energized and happy. Went through my day, but as the day went on, I started to feel tired. Like I could have gone to bed an hour early kind of tired.

But my goal was to do two yoga classes in one day. So I drove back to Keene, and made a quick trip into the bakery/deli next to the studio for something to eat for dinner.

As I walked through the deli, I noticed that my thoughts were racing: What if I can't find something to eat? What if I eat something and it makes me sick? I'm so tired, I can't skip dinner, but what if there's nothing to eat?

Over, and over, and over...

I went to class, but about ten minutes in, I felt that old sensation: nausea, stomach pain. My thoughts were still racing. I couldn't find that stillness.

Robin came up to me when she noticed that I wasn't keeping up with the flow, and told me it was okay to lie down. So I did. Scooted my little pillow under my head, put my knees up with my feet on the floor, and just focused on my breathing.

I was overcome with the urge to run away. I wanted to just pick up my stuff and RUN.

But I stayed.

I finally felt good enough to sit up and continue with the practice, and then sat through a meditation at the end.

I was STARVING on the ride home. Tired and hungry, the whole way.

But I did it. Made it through two yoga classes, even if part of one was spent on my back. I didn't run away.

Of course, I had the same old fears running through me on the way home: What if this happens when I go to Burlington? What if it happens when I go to Colorado in the fall? What if it happens when I go to Bead Fest in August? What if it happens when I go to NYC this month?

But this morning, when I thought of those things, none of them felt real. None of them felt like they were going to happen, and if they did, at least I know how to handle them now. So, no worries, really.

And now, I have to go finish up some beading for next week's blogs, and hit the bag sale at the thrift shop to see if I can find some more pants for my son, who is capable of tearing holes in the knees of his pants faster than I can blink.

Battle of the Beadsmith 2013: It's On Like Donkeykong!

April 1 - the first day that we are allowed to work on our pieces for the Battle of the Beadsmith 2013! It's on, baby! It's on like Donkeykong!

I can't give any hints or clues about what I'm making. All I can say is that over the last few weeks, I've placed orders for many different glass beads and beading supplies in order to make this year's masterpiece.

The idea is something that came to me after my first few weeks of really intense yoga - just this strange thought that popped into my head. After doing a little bit of research online, I found that I was really on to something, and I just ran with it.

I've already stitched up a couple of experiments to see if this design is going to work out. So far, so good. One step at a time!

Sadly, I can't give it too much attention today, because there are deadlines for work, and two other beading projects that need to be off my table before Friday.

The other big thing starting today is my 30-day immersion into twice-daily yoga, with Tara Stiles. But this morning, my plans to begin my day with a yoga workout were derailed when I woke up to discover that my hormones were, once again, trying to kill me. It's like my reproductive system is playing a huge April Fool's day prank on me, only I'm really not laughing.

I've got to get serious about making time in the mornings. Mornings are just not a good time for me - there's always so much to do, breakfasts to be made and eaten, Colden to take care of, and I think it sets the stage for a lot of my anxiety throughout the day. If allowed, my body would sleep straight through until about 7 a.m., but Colden is almost always awake before 6. (Which is, ironically, when Tom is always out the door for work.) So, something has to change. I need to find some kind of a new routine for myself and for Colden to diminish some of the stress and anxiety of our crazy mornings.

That said, I'm very much looking forward to an evening of a warm fire, leftover "meat"loaf from last night, some cozy time with my boys, Moose's birthday party (yes, he turns 10 today), and a half hour of uninterrupted yoga/meditation time by myself.

Don't forget - this Saturday is the second reveal for the 2013 Bead Soup Blog Party, and you'll get to see what myself and my partner, Tina Holden, did with the goodies that we swapped! Stay tuned!

Work

So, that pesky pinched nerve in my shoulder had me sidelined for three days this week until I got it straightened out. By the time I got back to yoga class last night, anything that involved my arms and shoulders felt tight and frustrating.

My anxiety levels were getting up there, too. As we moved through the first sequence of warm-ups and poses, my mind kept thinking, "You can't do this. You're going to be sick. Feel that? You're going to be sick."

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't relax my mind. It wasn't until we were more than halfway through class that I finally managed to relax. We were in King Dancer pose (one of my new favorites), and I realized that it felt like meditation to me. I couldn't calm my mind when I was sitting, but standing here, giving my mind a reason to focus and balance, that was calming and centering.

Instead of feeling elated at the end of class, I was tired. It felt like I had just done some kind of grueling, unpleasant task. It felt like work.

Of course, I realized as I drove home, that not every yoga class will be blissful. Sometimes, it will feel like work, the same way that beading sometimes feels like work. But the important thing is to move my behind to the mat or to the beads and get on with it.

On my way out of class, I picked up a flyer for the Burlington Yoga Conference. I looked it up online and saw that a one-day pass, including three classes/workshops and lunch, was about $113. I didn't hesitate, and registered for three Sunday workshops. Because, why not? Baby steps. I need to get myself moved out of my chair and out of the house.

I'm also signed up for an acro-yoga workshop in two weeks. Yikes! What am I doing?

There are beads on the horizon, too, but more about that later...

Pigeon

Colden, demonstrating Pigeon pose.

Honestly, lately, I have no idea where the minutes/hours/days/weeks/months are going... It feels like I just wake up in the morning, I turn around twice, and it's time to go to bed!

Thankfully, I've been going deeper into my yoga practice, and that's helping me become more mindful of each moment as I watch my breath and become aware of what's happening around me.

I went to my first Vinyasa class last Thursday night. Robin, the wonderful teacher from whom I'm learning so, so much, came up to me before we got started, and she told me just to take it at my own pace. It's a very physical class she said, with lots of movement. But she also said that she knows I'm comfortable with knowing where my edge is, and I'm not the kind of person who's going to push myself past my comfort zone and injure myself.

We spent part of the class practicing Yinyasa yoga. Where Vinyasa is sometimes known as "Power Yoga" with lots of movement, Yinyasa is where you get into a yoga pose and hold it, sometimes for as long as 5 or 10 minutes.

One of my classmates had requested Pigeon pose during that evening's class, and ever since I learned it a couple of months ago, I've had this love/hate thing going on with it.

To get into Pigeon, you start on hands and knees. You bring one leg up in front of the other knee and aim your foot out to the side, keeping that other leg stretched out behind you. You can either plant your palms and stretch up, or, as Colden is demonstrating in the photograph here, you can place your elbows down, bend forward, and rest your head on your clasped hands.

Well, that was the variation of Pigeon that I got into on Thursday evening. At first, my mind was telling me, "I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this." But, no, I told my mind that now was not the time. I acknowledged those thoughts, and then released them. I concentrated on my breath, breathing down through my hips and that outstretched leg......

It hit me sort of like a gentle thunderclap when I realized, to my surprise, that every single muscle in my body was relaxed. More than that, I became aware that I was in a deep, meditative state. My breath was flowing smoothly and deeply.

From somewhere deep in my belly, I felt a bit of that nagging queasiness that has plagued me so much during the last few months of anxiety. But in this state, with my head down, my eyes closed, my shoulders engaged and relaxed, I just let it come to the surface, thanked it for what it's taught me, and then released it. It felt like I breathed it in deep, and somehow, it was transformed by my heart and my breath, and then I let it back out into the world as something positive.

I finally had to get out of Pigeon when it was time to move on, and even though my hips were thanking me for finally releasing the pose, my mind wanted to stay there.

At the end of class, I felt energized. It was strange - I haven't felt that way in MONTHS. I felt like I could fly. I listened to Def Leppard the entire way home in the van, cranked up as loud as I thought I could stand it.

I felt like ME again.

Robin has told us that they are adding classes to the schedule in April, after spring break. I can hardly wait to see if I can fit a couple more into my schedule.

It feels to me like the yoga calms and centers me, while allowing me to burn off all this excess energy from my anxiety in a productive way. The Reiki healer I saw a couple of weeks ago suggested to me that when I started to feel anxious or nervous or queasy that I breathe those sensations into my heart, breathe them in deeply, and then allow my heart chakra to cleanse them and turn them into something else before I breathe them out as positive energy.

Yeah, it sounds crazy. But when I'm at yoga class, that's how it works.

So, now, there are two yoga classes tomorrow: a Vinyasa class in the morning and a gentle beginner in the afternoon.

Two classes in one day: can I do it? Is it crazy?

Stay tuned...

Kits For Hoarder of Beauty Now In My Etsy Shop!

I finally finished the counting and the pouring and the measuring...and last night, I listed four kits for my Hoarder of Beauty necklace in my Etsy shop. Huzzah!

Two of them sold straight away, so that means I only have two left - if you want one, grab it now, because I really don't know if I'll be making more of them. (If I end up teaching this project next year, I certainly will make more.)

The kit contains 24 gumdrop beads in gunmetal; two colors of size 11 seed beads; bronze size 15 seed beads; and 225 Czech glass round druk beads, enough to make a beautiful necklace and a pair of earrings to match! (You supply the beading needle and 6 lb. smoke-colored Fireline.)

The individual pattern download will be available later today, as well, hopefully before I head out to yoga class tonight.

Even more exciting - ALL of my beading patterns listed on Etsy are now available as instant downloads! That's right! No more waiting for me to email you with your pattern - all you have to do is click and download the .pdf to your computer instantly!

Ain't technology grand? (When it works, that is.)

Lots of other things going on that I want to write about, but right now, I have deadlines looming, a lunch date, and two phone calls coming my way... Onwards and upwards!

Well, Hello, Mister Sun!

As I was on my way to my therapist yesterday afternoon, the sun poked out from between the clouds. I didn't get my hopes up - I drove through some snow that was coming down so hard and so fast that it almost made me dizzy - but during my session, I noticed the sun shining in through the windows and across the floor.

When I left, the sky was dazzling.

It felt so good to be out in the sunshine again! I drove back through Keene Valley and Keene, and took a minute to pop into a friend's resale shop. Found a couple of great tops that match my new purple/maroon hair (which I'll show you as soon as I can get a decent picture), and I turned up my music as loud as I could stand it.

Today, the sky is cloudy again, but I can see bits of bright blue through the clouds. Sure, it's going to be down in the single digits this weekend, but that's just what spring in the Adirondacks is supposed to be.

Meanwhile, I'm dreaming of more sunshine...

Spring

Okay, Mister Sun, I'm seriously ready to see you again at some point in the very near future. The calendar is crawling ever closer to April... The spring equinox is just next week....

Yet every morning when I wake up, a grey, overcast, cloudy sky greets me.

In years past, it really didn't bother me. But this year? This year, it's driving me nuts.

I calculated that the last time I saw the sun two days in a row was - ready for it? - back in January.

Yes, the sun has peeked out here and there for a couple of hours, but never for very long. And never long enough that I need to get my sunglasses out.

And it's not just me. The ladies in yoga class last night said that they noticed it, too. Colden's preschool teacher agreed with me this morning and said that she was definitely ready to start seeing some sunshine again.

On the upside of no bright sun every day, it's been fabulous for taking great photos in the bright window in the living room where I have a photo table set up. And I'm still playing with those Twin beads from Preciosa...

What do you know, one pack of those Twin beads happened to perfectly match this absolutely amazing handmade lampwork glass focal bead from Evolving Creations! And I had some lovely salmon-colored matte seed beads and some stunningly perfect purple seed beads, and a couple of sleek, silver s-clasps, and...

It just sort of made itself! The rope is a free tutorial from my lovely friend, Nancy Dale, of NEDbeads. It's a twisted herringbone rope made with Twin seed beads, and it's the perfect weight to complement that focal bead.

I wore it with a very feminine green sweater (the same green as the lampwork and the Twins, wouldn't you know!) a few times, hoping to coax the sun out of hiding, but, alas, still cloudy today. (And supposed to be sub-zero again over the weekend.)

 My body is yearning for spring and sunlight, too. I've started up with my annual spring-change-of-season-runny-nose, and every time I take a forward bend in yoga class, I can feel my ears pop. It'll all clear out as soon as the weather warms up, but until then, I just find myself fantasizing about what it will feel like to walk onto the warm driveway in my bare feet, under the light of the midday sun...

In other new, my photo of Colden drinking sap right out of the tree is today's North Country Public Radio Photo Of the Day! My little man! Almost famous! 

It will be on the NCPR homepage all day today, so make sure you check it out.

On to my daily tasks of blogging, picture-taking, and my daily errand to get my ass out of the house...

Photography Class

So, like I mentioned in yesterday's post, over the weekend, I took a DSLR Photography for Beginners class at the North Country Cultural Center for the Arts. Since I've had this amazing Pentax *istD DSLR for going on three years now, I thought maybe it would be a nice idea if I actually learned how to use the settings on it instead of always going with the automatic settings.

Of course, the anxiety kicked in almost the second I drove out of the driveway. My stomach was so painfully tight that it made me queasy.

I told myself that if I still felt this bad when I got to the Cultural Center, that I could just go to Target or do something else - there was nothing that was FORCING me to go to that photography class.

But, when I pulled up in front of the building, I felt a little calmer, even though my stomach was still incredibly painful to the touch.

I'm glad I went to the class, because after spending two hours learning about how to adjust the manual settings on my DSLR camera, I will never, ever, ever use the automatic settings on my camera ever again.

The class was only 2 hours - which was way too short. My response on the evaluation form was that it should have been a 4 or 6 hour class so that we would have time to actually play with the settings and see what kinds of pictures we got, with feedback from the instructor.

As it was, most of us just started clicking away with our cameras at whatever happened to catch our eye - the pen on the table in front of me, my water bottle, the sprinklers in the ceiling, or this picture of The Beatles that was sitting on the floor across the room...

The next day, I took the camera out with us when we went to collect sap for maple sugaring, and I captured a few nice images:

Then we came home, and I wanted to try to get a couple of "glamor shots" of some of my newest work. To see those, you'll just have to stay tuned...

The Universe Responds

The Universe Lends a Helping Hand, If You Ask It

When am I ever going to learn?

My life since Wednesday has had more ups and downs than a damn roller coaster. I spent most of Wednesday fighting off one anxiety attack after the other, and believe me, it wasn't pretty. If I wasn't crying, I was trying not to cry, or my stomach was hurting.

I woke up around 3 a.m. on Thursday morning from a dream that I was having a screaming argument with my mother - who, as most of you know, passed away back in 2008. I also woke up with a pounding headache. Tom said to me, "Better take something now, it's a migraine." But, no, I told him that it wasn't, and I went back to sleep.

Come 6:30 a.m., and yes, it was a headache. Only by the Grace of the Goddess did I manage to get Colden to preschool with that thundering in my right eye before I went back home and slipped back into bed to try to sleep it off.

I decided that a Vinyasa class on Thursday night was probably not a great idea after feeling so yucky all day, so I just did a few gentle, restorative stretches on my own in front of the wood stove.

Friday, I went for a Reiki treatment. I don't know if I'm quite ready to talk about everything that happened there, but I will say this: on the drive home, everything looked different. I realized that I am, indeed, looking at the world with fresh eyes now.

Saturday was my photography class, and again, I felt that excruciating pain in the pit of my stomach as I drove to Plattsburgh. I told myself, okay, if it gets too bad, don't go to the class. Go to Target or something, and then go home.

But once I drove past the cultural center, I knew it was going to be okay, so I parked and went into class. (And I'm glad I did, because I learned a ton, once I relaxed and settled down. But that's a blog for tomorrow, I think.)

So, I went to yoga class on Sunday afternoon, and by the Grace of the Goddess, I only had a minor bit of stomach discomfort. Class was invigorating and relaxing, and I left feeling very good about myself and my body.

Yoga class was exactly what I needed to do on Sunday. Robin read a passage about learning how to live with your limitations and being accepting of them, and it resonated strongly with me. Yoga practice is a beautiful way to start getting the energy moving in your body, and in my case, I'm clearing out old, stagnant energy that's been there for several years. The clearing out part doesn't feel so great sometimes, but in the long run, I'm going to be healthier and happier for it.

Also at yoga class, I met Lynn Edwards, who is another type of healer, and has a large walking labyrinth on her property here in Jay. Walking through the "spin", or the spiral path in our own backyard has been something of a meditation for me, and I'm eager to go see Lynn's path. She also does seasonal celebrations in the labyrinth, and I'm planning to attend the spring equinox ceremony in a couple of weeks.

After I got home from yoga last night, I started to realize that the Universe was, once again, responding to my needs. I need to deal with the anxiety and the illness, so I put it out there. And in return, the Universe sends me to Robin's yoga class, to Linda for the Reiki, and puts me in touch with people like Lynn who have other solutions to my problems.

Of course, that's not to say that I can just sit back on my butt and not do anything. The Universe is meeting me halfway here by providing me with the tools I need to get this done, and now, it's entirely up to me to make it work.

WTFriday: Why I Will Never Eat Like a Caveman

Courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net

So, seeing as how I've had my own struggles with diet and weight loss since I had Colden back in 2008, I've noticed a growing number of people clamoring about how we should all be eating the Paleo Diet.

What is the Paleo diet? Basically, you eat meat and animal products - but no dairy - along with only certain vegetables, no grains at all, no beans or legumes, limited amounts of fruit, and no refined sugars or carbs.

There are parts of this diet that certainly make sense to me. For instance, cutting out refined sugars is certainly a step in the right direction for any healthy diet.

But when we get to the part that says, "Well, this is how the first humans ate, so this must be the best diet for humans!", I start to think that's maybe not such a good idea.

First of all, eating lots of meat and animal products puts a lot of stress on the environment. If EVERYBODY were to eat Paleo, our problems with factory farming would be a hell of a lot worse than they already are. I mean, come on: more antibiotics, more hormones, more nitrogen waste going into the environment can't be a good thing.

Second, it seems to me that any diet that is more restrictive is just not going to be healthier than a diet that includes a wide variety of plant and animal sources. I've seen people chowing down on a plate of fried bacon, instead of a bowl of oatmeal, because the bacon is allowed in Paleo diet and the oatmeal isn't. Ummm...

Third, just because our ancestors ate like this 40,000 years ago has absolutely no bearing on what we should or shouldn't be eating today. A species can evolve a LOT in 40,000 years, in case you didn't notice. No longer do we run around chasing down our food to kill it and eat it (raw). Most of us sit at a desk job five days a week. We simply don't need the same kinds or amounts of calories that we did back when the species was still in its infancy, and we've discovered a lot of food sources that can supplement our diet for those times when we just can't drag home an entire bison for dinner.

Now, there are things about the Paleo diet that I think can make you healthier. For instance, avoiding processed foods. That's a no-brainer. Eating lots of vegetables, too, is probably a good idea.

But when it comes to cutting out grains, beans, and dairy completely, that just makes no sense to me at all. I don't think there's anything wrong with the occasional slice of good, locally-made cheese or a hearty dinner of rice and beans once or twice a week.

That said, all things in moderation, folks. Find a diet that works for you, and try to include as many different sources of protein, healthy fats, and carbs as you can. I've been a happy, (relatively) healthy vegetarian for over 10 years now, and I have a beautiful baby boy who I grew for 9 months on a healthy vegetarian diet. But that might not be right for you - it all depends on what makes YOUR body feel good.

So, no, I won't be going back to eating meat any time soon, but that's just me. Do your own research, experiment in your own kitchen, and eat sensibly.

The Hoarder of Beauty

It was a hard weekend. It felt like I didn't know which way to look first - spending time with my boys, getting caught up on work, working on my own projects...

Finally, on Sunday, I decided to sit down and finish photographing the steps and assemble the Hoarder of Beauty:

And here it is! Each little individual component made with gumdrops and druks (never, ever underestimate the power of the druk), with a lovely embellished centerpiece and a handmade toggle clasp.

Now, under the category of Things I Learned While Making This Necklace, I can list two things.

The first, is the embellished centerpiece. Once I had the center units all joined together, I didn't like the big, empty hole in the middle. So, I filled it in.

 While I was filling it in, it occurred to me that the techniques I was using could also be used to create a bracelet or a whole new component.

Thankfully, I have lots of gumdrops and druks in my stash (and more on the way) with which I can experiment...

The second thing that I learned is all about the clasp. I wanted to make a clasp that complemented the gumdrop and druk units without being too ornate, and I certainly didn't want to use a pre-made clasp for this piece. I played with some peyote stitch for a bit, mimicking the first few rounds of the gumdrop/druk units, and came up with an easy and fast toggle loop.

I'm not going to pretend that I'm the first person to come up with this kind of peyote stitch loop, but it's intriguing. It could easily be turned into a whole new component with some extra embellishments, in new colors, in a larger size.

So, yes, in all my spare time, once I finish the tutorial instructions, I'll be experimenting with these two new ideas.

In addition to all the other ideas and deadlines bouncing around in my head, I think I came up with my idea for my Battle of the Beadsmith piece. Yes, I've entered again for 2013, and I've even been assigned a partner for the first battle already! The idea for this one is a little unexpected for me...but now comes the sketching, the stitching experiments to see if it will actually work, and the ordering of about a hundred dollars' worth of metallic seed beads. Fun times.

WTFriday: WTF is With the USPS?

In case you don't know what those abbreviations stand for, here's the skinny of it: What the fuck is up with the United States Postal Service?!

I ordered a beautiful glass bead from some wonderfully talented friends out in Port Townsend, Washington. I got a notification on February 22nd from the USPS that it had been shipped, and originally, it was slated for delivery sometime around February 25th according to the tracking.

So, naturally, when it failed to appear in my post office box again today, I checked the tracking. And saw this:

So, it took the post office EIGHT DAYS to "accept" the package, after they originally told me it would be delivered around the 25th of February? And now the expected delivery is March 4? How does that work? Do they have Zippy The Wonder Slug sorting mail out in Port Townsend? Did it fall behind a bookcase until last night? What?

You know, I know there are some people that would have us believe that the United State Post Office is doomed, and that it needs to go away. I've never, EVER, had such problems with the USPS as I have in the last couple of years since the Men In Suits down in Washington have started fucking with it.

You know what? If Congress wants to shut down the publicly-owned USPS and privatize and let UPS and FedEx handle everything from now on, fine. But why not just tell the American public that that's what they want to do instead of making all this noise and hemming and hawing about "Oh, we can't AFFORD a public mail delivery system!"

You know what I say to that? Fuck that. You know what country can't afford a public mail delivery system? Somalia, that's who.

In order to appease Congress, the USPS has started closing down rural post offices and sorting facilities. And, yes, you guessed it, that's significantly affected my ability just to receive my fucking mail since they shut down the local sorting facility. Now, all our mail is sorted down in Albany, over two hours away, and trucked up here what seems like every third day.

Why all the sudden rush to hate on public services these days? Hmmm? Makes me wonder... I've never had problems like this with my rural mail service before, not in the 13 years since we've lived up here. Now that the USPS is under pressure from Congress, they're floundering like a perch that's just been tonked on the head and tossed on the floor of the boat.

Nothing left to do now but sit and wait and see what happens...and maybe write a letter to Congress, telling them to get their act together and save the damn USPS. We're not Somalia, in case they didn't notice.