Earlier this morning, I posted a picture on my Facebook page, noting the obvious physical similarities between a photo of Arizona governor Jan "Pregnancy Begins Two Weeks Before Conception" Brewer and Terrance Stamp's character of Bernadette from "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert", and really, some of the anti-immigration comments it spawned were a little surprising to me.
It made me think a little. (Dangerous, I know, especially since I'm feeling particularly snarky this morning.) And here's my $10,000 question for the day:
Why is it so difficult for people to turn away from compassion towards other human beings? Is it because showing compassion towards others reveals our own faults or weaknesses?
Is it really easier to spread hate and fear than it is to act with love?
What if a nation chose to govern based on compassion rather than greed?
Do my views make me seem naive, idealistic, uneducated?
Any and all comments are welcome.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
You
I got in my car after work today and drove and drove and drove...all the while, thinking about you.
I drove through the mountains and the sky and felt the wind blow through me and I thought about you. I know you so much better than I did before, but I don't really know you at all.
I thought about what you would say if you could see what I saw, and if you could see everything that comes out of me. Would you stay?
I listened to the lines of a song I've heard a thousand times before, and I heard something new in it. I let it wash over me, and the words started running through my head, faster. I thought about your eyes, and your breath.
I thought of you when I drove past the meadows and the farms in the valley. I thought of you when I saw the clouds as they gathered on the horizon near the lake.
I thought about when I would see you again.
I drove as long as I could, because I knew that once I stopped, the magic would be gone, the moment over. I wanted the moment to go on as long as it could, because just for a little while there, everything was suspended in space, and it was perfect.
So, today, I drove my car and I thought of you. And I know that if I let go, everything will be okay.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Overwhelming.
That's what this week has totally been. Just overwhelming. From the minute I woke up on Monday morning, I feel like it's been go-go-go!
I'm sitting in my hotel room in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania, right now, just trying to process what has happened in the last 48 hours...
Truthfully, my mind and my body are both too tired to really get into much right now, but the rundown so far is this:
Got to PA on Wednesday afternoon, got a flat tire. Thanks to the Smartest Roommate in the world, Tammy Jones, I remembered that I have roadside assistance through my car insurance. Got someone to put on the full-size snow tire/spare that I had in the car, then went to bed.
Woke up Thursday morning, found a tire place, got a new tire. (Guy at tire place tried to talk me into two new tires, told him no.)
Drove out to Pitman, NJ, to visit the amazing bead shop, Glass & Bead Boutique, of Amy Blevins. Fun stuff. Chatted for three hours!
Drove back to PA, crossed three bridges, felt like six bridges. Have never had a panic attack while driving on a bridge before, but there it was.
Got back to PA in time to get all checked in for my classes.
Ran back to hotel, grabbed some dinner to eat during class, then drove back to expo center.
Had first-ever kumihimo class with the awesome Jill Wiseman. Learned kumihimo in about five minutes. Got hooked on kumihimo, too, which sent my bead shopping list right out the freaking window.
Got up this morning, back to expo center, helped Nikia Angel schlep stuff back and forth to Meet the Teachers. Had great fun at Meet the Teachers, helped celebrate 5 years of Beading Daily with a little birthday party and some cake.
Had a little bit of lunch (not enough, durn it), and then spent the afternoon shopping.
Shopping for beads? It's hard work. Really.
Decided that I was most definitely NOT up for dinner out tonight, so went back to hotel and changed into jammies. Looked through my fun finds of the day and started new kumihimo bracelet, since I need about three tubes of 6/0 seeds to do an 18" necklace. Durn it again.
Will share my awesome beading finds later. Right now, time for bed, since I have an 8 o clock class tomorrow - something that I haven't had since college back in 2001!
I'm sitting in my hotel room in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania, right now, just trying to process what has happened in the last 48 hours...
Truthfully, my mind and my body are both too tired to really get into much right now, but the rundown so far is this:
Got to PA on Wednesday afternoon, got a flat tire. Thanks to the Smartest Roommate in the world, Tammy Jones, I remembered that I have roadside assistance through my car insurance. Got someone to put on the full-size snow tire/spare that I had in the car, then went to bed.
Woke up Thursday morning, found a tire place, got a new tire. (Guy at tire place tried to talk me into two new tires, told him no.)
Drove out to Pitman, NJ, to visit the amazing bead shop, Glass & Bead Boutique, of Amy Blevins. Fun stuff. Chatted for three hours!
Drove back to PA, crossed three bridges, felt like six bridges. Have never had a panic attack while driving on a bridge before, but there it was.
Got back to PA in time to get all checked in for my classes.
Ran back to hotel, grabbed some dinner to eat during class, then drove back to expo center.
Had first-ever kumihimo class with the awesome Jill Wiseman. Learned kumihimo in about five minutes. Got hooked on kumihimo, too, which sent my bead shopping list right out the freaking window.
Got up this morning, back to expo center, helped Nikia Angel schlep stuff back and forth to Meet the Teachers. Had great fun at Meet the Teachers, helped celebrate 5 years of Beading Daily with a little birthday party and some cake.
Had a little bit of lunch (not enough, durn it), and then spent the afternoon shopping.
Shopping for beads? It's hard work. Really.
Decided that I was most definitely NOT up for dinner out tonight, so went back to hotel and changed into jammies. Looked through my fun finds of the day and started new kumihimo bracelet, since I need about three tubes of 6/0 seeds to do an 18" necklace. Durn it again.
Will share my awesome beading finds later. Right now, time for bed, since I have an 8 o clock class tomorrow - something that I haven't had since college back in 2001!
Monday, August 13, 2012
"You look just like Mom."
I got this awesome pair of telescopes from CraftOptics today, and I had so much fun testing them out, I took a quick picture of myself wearing them and put it on Facebook:
I mean, I was having a good hair day and all, so I figured, what the heck, right?
My sister commented on the picture that I look just like our Mom, and my heart skipped a beat. I know she meant it in a good way, but there was something about it that just sent a chill up my spine.
When I found out that I had to go gluten-free a few months ago, the first thing that someone close to me said was, "Now, don't go turning into your mother!" Which, of course, was the first thing that *I* had thought after realizing that there are a whole lot of things that I can't or won't eat now.
Of course, the inside of my refrigerator looks nothing like the inside of my mother's. We eat healthy every day - we just avoid junk food and processed food, which is, unfortunately, 75% of what you find at the grocery store.
Yes, I'm losing weight. Am I at an unhealthy weight? No. Am I healthy overall? Yes, aside from the fact that I could probably stand to get more exercise.
Am I turning into my mother with the food issues?
Dear God, I hope not.
Sometimes, I really wonder if half of my mom's problem was gluten intolerance that nobody really knew about. All her digestive symptoms - those could totally have been from gluten intolerance. It doesn't explain the mental health issues, her belief that she was allergic to everything except stew meat and broccoli and carrot baby food, but it could explain a lot of her problems early on that led to those things.
I've seen some folks who swear by the whole paleo diet thing. They don't eat any grains, dairy, gluten, legumes, or sugar. And I just can't understand that. To me, THAT seems more like an eating disorder than a gluten-free vegetarian diet. How can you eliminate everything except certain vegetables and meat and still eat a healthy diet? It just seems impossible to me.
Did my little 6-week brush with pain, nausea, and vomiting after every meal scare the heck out of me last summer? Yes, it certainly did. Have I allowed it to completely ruin my life? No, I have not.
At any rate, I needed to have a little chat with my husband tonight to remind myself that:
1. I am not my mother.
2. I am, in fact, quite healthy overall.
3. I (we) eat a healthier diet than most people we know.
And if anyone needs convincing that a plant-based diet is healthy, just remember this: my lovely, healthy, funny, wonderful little 4 1/2 year old was built on a plant-based diet.
So, anyway, now that I've gotten rid of that little brain worm for the night, I'm off to get Colden to bed and play with my CraftOptics some more...
I mean, I was having a good hair day and all, so I figured, what the heck, right?
My sister commented on the picture that I look just like our Mom, and my heart skipped a beat. I know she meant it in a good way, but there was something about it that just sent a chill up my spine.
When I found out that I had to go gluten-free a few months ago, the first thing that someone close to me said was, "Now, don't go turning into your mother!" Which, of course, was the first thing that *I* had thought after realizing that there are a whole lot of things that I can't or won't eat now.
Of course, the inside of my refrigerator looks nothing like the inside of my mother's. We eat healthy every day - we just avoid junk food and processed food, which is, unfortunately, 75% of what you find at the grocery store.
Yes, I'm losing weight. Am I at an unhealthy weight? No. Am I healthy overall? Yes, aside from the fact that I could probably stand to get more exercise.
Am I turning into my mother with the food issues?
Dear God, I hope not.
Sometimes, I really wonder if half of my mom's problem was gluten intolerance that nobody really knew about. All her digestive symptoms - those could totally have been from gluten intolerance. It doesn't explain the mental health issues, her belief that she was allergic to everything except stew meat and broccoli and carrot baby food, but it could explain a lot of her problems early on that led to those things.
I've seen some folks who swear by the whole paleo diet thing. They don't eat any grains, dairy, gluten, legumes, or sugar. And I just can't understand that. To me, THAT seems more like an eating disorder than a gluten-free vegetarian diet. How can you eliminate everything except certain vegetables and meat and still eat a healthy diet? It just seems impossible to me.
Did my little 6-week brush with pain, nausea, and vomiting after every meal scare the heck out of me last summer? Yes, it certainly did. Have I allowed it to completely ruin my life? No, I have not.
At any rate, I needed to have a little chat with my husband tonight to remind myself that:
1. I am not my mother.
2. I am, in fact, quite healthy overall.
3. I (we) eat a healthier diet than most people we know.
And if anyone needs convincing that a plant-based diet is healthy, just remember this: my lovely, healthy, funny, wonderful little 4 1/2 year old was built on a plant-based diet.
So, anyway, now that I've gotten rid of that little brain worm for the night, I'm off to get Colden to bed and play with my CraftOptics some more...
The Beads! The Beads!
On Friday, I decided that I just needed a break from it all. I started Week 1 of The Artist's Way, and this time around, I'm finding that doing my Morning Pages at night is more therapeutic for me. It lets me get out of my head everything that keeps me awake at night, and I get some more restful sleep.
That said, I decided to dedicate some serious time for beading this weekend.
I started out making one of my favorite right-angle weave jewelry bases, thinking that I'd make a killer cuff bracelet with some of the gumdrop beads. But wouldn't you know - I didn't have enough beads to create an entire cuff. So what did I do? I turned it into a necklace, of course!
This is pre-fringe and pre-embellishment, which seems to be taking for-ev-er. But overall, I'm extremely happy with this piece, and have started a second version in amber/green/silver which will be what I photograph (with other variations) as a tutorial for my Etsy shop.
Then I started picking out colors for a second collar that I've been tossing around in my head for a little while. My wonderful friend, Nancy Vogel, who has had some crazy adventures cycling around the world with her husband and twin boys, went bead shopping in New York City a few weeks ago, and she sent me a small Priority Mail box packed full of beads, nailheads, and vintage West German glass cameos!I loved these amazing carved wooden totems that were included in the box, and I've been dreaming about making some kind of tribal-inspired collar with them. The final bit of inspiration arrived when I received another gorgeous sample pack of Czech glass beads from Perry Bookstein down at York Beads. So, I chose my palette of beads and colors for the next collar project.
But before I get started on THAT beaded necklace project, I got a little sidetracked. I wasn't having such a good day, digestive-wise, and I don't know if it was the heat, the stress of the last couple of weeks, or a combination of everything, but I wound up spending most of the day in bed, trying to keep my food down. To distract myself, I started stitching up a twisted herringbone rope using some more of those amazing Czech striped seed beads from York...
So, the ideas are there! They're flowing! Thankfully, many of them are flowing into my notebooks for next week after Bead Fest Philadelphia... That's a whole other adventure that I need to prepare for this week.
I'm leaving in exactly 48 hours for Philadelphia, and beading classes with Jill Wiseman, Nikia Angel, and Gail Crossman Moore. Am I excited? You betcha.
Tuesday, August 07, 2012
The Artist's Way for Beaders: Basic Tools
The Artist's Way works with two basic tools for unlocking your creativity: Morning Pages and a weekly Artist's Date.
The Morning Pages/Morning Beading
The Morning Pages are three pages of stream-of-consciousness writing that should be done every morning as part of your creative recovery. Julia Cameron, author of the The Artist's Way, recommends that everyone do them, even if you're not a writer.
There is value in these Morning Pages. Even if you don't think you can write, you can try them, anyway. If the idea of writing just turns you off completely, go ahead and skip them, but then make sure that you do:
The Morning Beading.
Yep. Every morning, if you choose not to write, I want you to set your alarm clock a half hour earlier than normal. Get up, get over to your beads, and sit down for half an hour and bead.
It doesn't matter what you work on. If you have a project, great. If you don't have a project, just grab the first tube of beads or the first set of beads you see and start stitching. Bead for the full half-hour - don't shortchange yourself.
I also recommend documenting your beadwork, somehow. You can either print out a picture of what you did and stick it in a hard-copy journal, or post it on your blog. (This might also be a good time to start a blog, if you've been wanting to, or resurrecting your old blog!)
The point of this exercise is just to get you to your beads without a finished project in mind. (Although, like I said, if you have a project you want to work on, by all means, go for it.) It's a way of providing yourself with some accountability. Even if you just make a swatch of peyote or half an inch of a herringbone tube, you've beaded and you've connected with your beads for a little while.
The Morning Beading/Morning Pages can be used as a form of meditation. Get out whatever "junk" you have in your head. Remember to breathe. Take your beads and sit and watch the sunrise or listen to the sounds of the house coming alive around you. Just BE with yourself and with your beads.
The Artist's Date
The Artist's Date is the second tool that we will use, and we'll be pretty much sticking to what Julia says in the book.
Once a week, take yourself on a date. Go somewhere - anywhere. Go to the zoo. Go to the park. Go for a walk in the woods, or just take your camera and go on a drive. Go to your favorite museum or to your favorite cafe and take in the sights, the sounds, and the smells. Just BE.
The idea behind the Artist's Date is just to give your brain a break. By just allowing yourself some time to do nothing, you're actually allowing your creative mind to recharge so you don't get burnt out creatively.
Oh, and for your Artist's Date? No beads allowed. Not a one!
A Word About God
Yes, throughout the book, Julia mentions God quite often. The first time I did this program with a couple other folks, one of them was so offended at the mention of God that she almost didn't want to go ahead with the program.
It doesn't matter if you believe in God or a god or many gods or no gods at all. I got over it pretty quick, and now when I go through The Artist's Way, I simply imagine the Universe and all its cosmic energy as my higher power.
To be continued...
The Morning Pages/Morning Beading
The Morning Pages are three pages of stream-of-consciousness writing that should be done every morning as part of your creative recovery. Julia Cameron, author of the The Artist's Way, recommends that everyone do them, even if you're not a writer.
There is value in these Morning Pages. Even if you don't think you can write, you can try them, anyway. If the idea of writing just turns you off completely, go ahead and skip them, but then make sure that you do:
The Morning Beading.
Yep. Every morning, if you choose not to write, I want you to set your alarm clock a half hour earlier than normal. Get up, get over to your beads, and sit down for half an hour and bead.
It doesn't matter what you work on. If you have a project, great. If you don't have a project, just grab the first tube of beads or the first set of beads you see and start stitching. Bead for the full half-hour - don't shortchange yourself.
I also recommend documenting your beadwork, somehow. You can either print out a picture of what you did and stick it in a hard-copy journal, or post it on your blog. (This might also be a good time to start a blog, if you've been wanting to, or resurrecting your old blog!)
The point of this exercise is just to get you to your beads without a finished project in mind. (Although, like I said, if you have a project you want to work on, by all means, go for it.) It's a way of providing yourself with some accountability. Even if you just make a swatch of peyote or half an inch of a herringbone tube, you've beaded and you've connected with your beads for a little while.
The Morning Beading/Morning Pages can be used as a form of meditation. Get out whatever "junk" you have in your head. Remember to breathe. Take your beads and sit and watch the sunrise or listen to the sounds of the house coming alive around you. Just BE with yourself and with your beads.
The Artist's Date
The Artist's Date is the second tool that we will use, and we'll be pretty much sticking to what Julia says in the book.
Once a week, take yourself on a date. Go somewhere - anywhere. Go to the zoo. Go to the park. Go for a walk in the woods, or just take your camera and go on a drive. Go to your favorite museum or to your favorite cafe and take in the sights, the sounds, and the smells. Just BE.
The idea behind the Artist's Date is just to give your brain a break. By just allowing yourself some time to do nothing, you're actually allowing your creative mind to recharge so you don't get burnt out creatively.
Oh, and for your Artist's Date? No beads allowed. Not a one!
A Word About God
Yes, throughout the book, Julia mentions God quite often. The first time I did this program with a couple other folks, one of them was so offended at the mention of God that she almost didn't want to go ahead with the program.
It doesn't matter if you believe in God or a god or many gods or no gods at all. I got over it pretty quick, and now when I go through The Artist's Way, I simply imagine the Universe and all its cosmic energy as my higher power.
To be continued...
The Artist's Way for Beaders: What It Is, How it Works
So, because I don't know if I'm going to get sued if I start a blog called The Artist's Way for Beaders without permission from Julia Cameron, I'm just going to start this off on my blog, and then if I can work that out, I'll move these posts later.
The Artist's Way is a fabulous book and method for unlocking your latent creativity, written by author, playwright, poet, and screenwriter Julia Cameron. I used it for the first time many, many years ago when I was a budding writer/bead artist, and as I've gone back and done it again and again over the years, I've found new ways of modifying the basic tools and exercises so that they are more relevant to my beadwork.
The Artist's Way is a twelve-week program where each week, you'll complete certain tasks and answer questions from the book as you discover how to allow yourself to be more creative. What I have found through my work with The Artist's Way is that with a little nudge, these tasks and questions can be extremely useful in dealing with Beader's Block, too!
If you want to join us in the Facebook group, The Artist's Way for Beaders, just head on over to the group and ask to be added. Any and all are welcome to join, no matter what kind of beading or beadwork you do!
Next, you'll need a copy of the book, The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron.
You can either download the book onto your Kindle, buy a paperback copy, or borrow it from your local library. (I'm pretty sure you can download it in the iBooks store, too.)
Once you're ready to go, read on for how we'll be changing things up a bit as we work our way through our creative beading blocks!
The Artist's Way is a fabulous book and method for unlocking your latent creativity, written by author, playwright, poet, and screenwriter Julia Cameron. I used it for the first time many, many years ago when I was a budding writer/bead artist, and as I've gone back and done it again and again over the years, I've found new ways of modifying the basic tools and exercises so that they are more relevant to my beadwork.
The Artist's Way is a twelve-week program where each week, you'll complete certain tasks and answer questions from the book as you discover how to allow yourself to be more creative. What I have found through my work with The Artist's Way is that with a little nudge, these tasks and questions can be extremely useful in dealing with Beader's Block, too!
If you want to join us in the Facebook group, The Artist's Way for Beaders, just head on over to the group and ask to be added. Any and all are welcome to join, no matter what kind of beading or beadwork you do!
Next, you'll need a copy of the book, The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron.
You can either download the book onto your Kindle, buy a paperback copy, or borrow it from your local library. (I'm pretty sure you can download it in the iBooks store, too.)
Once you're ready to go, read on for how we'll be changing things up a bit as we work our way through our creative beading blocks!
Holding On and Letting Go
So, yesterday, in the midst of what might be a combination of reasonable fear of the future and a little pity party for myself, I stumbled across this page on the Tiny Buddha website about overcoming the fear of loss. The first question really got to me: What are you afraid of losing by letting go?
Well, the angry tears sprang right to my eyes. Of course, I'm afraid of losing EVERYTHING. I'm afraid of us losing our house if we can't pay the bills or the mortgage. I'm afraid of having to pull Colden out of a preschool program with a teacher and friends that he absolutely adores.
I'm afraid of going back to work in a field that is a terrible fit for me, but just happens to be the only thing I'm "qualified" to do on my resume. I'm afraid of losing myself in a job that I hate, just because I need to pay the bills.
I'm afraid of losing my sense of myself as an artist. I'm afraid that I'll discover that I was never *really* that good at beading, anyway, and that's why I wasn't much of a commercial success.
To combat all these feelings of helplessness, I started cleaning up my desk/work area/beading area yesterday. Two hours, and I put away hundreds of tubes of seed beads, bags of beads, strands of gemstones, and discovered that lo and behold, my pearl drawer actually isn't as feeble as I had previously thought. (All those pearls were in other bags, waiting to be used for projects that I never got around to!)
I should have taken before and after photos, I know, but I was totally in the moment. No time for the camera. I just wanted to sit and sort through everything and get everything cleaned up and organized for the first time in months. I've got ideas, dammit, and I need to sit my butt down and actually make them come to life. My Battle of the Beadsmith piece showed me that, yes, I am still capable of creating crazy good beadwork.
Then, I sat down while Tom was doing bedtime with Colden (or attempting to do bedtime, anyway) and did some serious therapeutic list-making. Like what I need to do to re-launch my VanBeads business. What I need to do to get on top of things so I can go to Bead Fest next week.
And while I managed to get seven whole hours of sleep last night and I even managed to kick the excruciating headache I woke up with this morning, this whole in-between-not-knowing thing has me prone to fits of tears periodically.
The only thing I can do is just keep calm and bead on. I've got my lists made. I sort-of have a plan. I'll need help, and I'll need to just put my head down and plow through it all.
So, for today, don't stop bead-lieving, my friends.
To be continued...
Well, the angry tears sprang right to my eyes. Of course, I'm afraid of losing EVERYTHING. I'm afraid of us losing our house if we can't pay the bills or the mortgage. I'm afraid of having to pull Colden out of a preschool program with a teacher and friends that he absolutely adores.
I'm afraid of going back to work in a field that is a terrible fit for me, but just happens to be the only thing I'm "qualified" to do on my resume. I'm afraid of losing myself in a job that I hate, just because I need to pay the bills.
I'm afraid of losing my sense of myself as an artist. I'm afraid that I'll discover that I was never *really* that good at beading, anyway, and that's why I wasn't much of a commercial success.
To combat all these feelings of helplessness, I started cleaning up my desk/work area/beading area yesterday. Two hours, and I put away hundreds of tubes of seed beads, bags of beads, strands of gemstones, and discovered that lo and behold, my pearl drawer actually isn't as feeble as I had previously thought. (All those pearls were in other bags, waiting to be used for projects that I never got around to!)
I should have taken before and after photos, I know, but I was totally in the moment. No time for the camera. I just wanted to sit and sort through everything and get everything cleaned up and organized for the first time in months. I've got ideas, dammit, and I need to sit my butt down and actually make them come to life. My Battle of the Beadsmith piece showed me that, yes, I am still capable of creating crazy good beadwork.
Then, I sat down while Tom was doing bedtime with Colden (or attempting to do bedtime, anyway) and did some serious therapeutic list-making. Like what I need to do to re-launch my VanBeads business. What I need to do to get on top of things so I can go to Bead Fest next week.
And while I managed to get seven whole hours of sleep last night and I even managed to kick the excruciating headache I woke up with this morning, this whole in-between-not-knowing thing has me prone to fits of tears periodically.
The only thing I can do is just keep calm and bead on. I've got my lists made. I sort-of have a plan. I'll need help, and I'll need to just put my head down and plow through it all.
So, for today, don't stop bead-lieving, my friends.
To be continued...
Wednesday, August 01, 2012
Uncertainty
"Faith means living with uncertainty - feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark." - Dan Millman
I do not deal well with uncertainty. It was difficult for me when I worked the farmer's markets, because I never knew if I was going to have a good day or a bad day. And regardless of a good day or a bad day, I still had bills to pay, food to buy, commitments to honor. That sort of stuff.
So, here we go again, dealing with more uncertainty. I know that what I'm dealing with is tiny, compared to what others are going through. Part of me is screaming out, "You should have seen this coming! Nothing good ever lasts with you!"
The other part is trying to wrestle that first part down and slap it into submission.
There's part of me that is screaming in the back of my head, "You're not a REAL artist. I've SEEN real art. And it doesn't come from you!"
So now, I'm grappling with how to prepare for uncertainty. What frightens me the most is that I've made commitments to my son, now.
Deep down, I know that things will work out one way or another. But the fear is there, and it's real, and there's no getting around it right now. I'm hesitant to plan for the worst, but I know that I should.
I think that before I go to sleep tonight, I need to write out some affirmations for myself to help carry me through the uncertainty:
...and a big bowl of chocolate and peanut butter ice cream.
I do not deal well with uncertainty. It was difficult for me when I worked the farmer's markets, because I never knew if I was going to have a good day or a bad day. And regardless of a good day or a bad day, I still had bills to pay, food to buy, commitments to honor. That sort of stuff.
So, here we go again, dealing with more uncertainty. I know that what I'm dealing with is tiny, compared to what others are going through. Part of me is screaming out, "You should have seen this coming! Nothing good ever lasts with you!"
The other part is trying to wrestle that first part down and slap it into submission.
There's part of me that is screaming in the back of my head, "You're not a REAL artist. I've SEEN real art. And it doesn't come from you!"
So now, I'm grappling with how to prepare for uncertainty. What frightens me the most is that I've made commitments to my son, now.
Deep down, I know that things will work out one way or another. But the fear is there, and it's real, and there's no getting around it right now. I'm hesitant to plan for the worst, but I know that I should.
I think that before I go to sleep tonight, I need to write out some affirmations for myself to help carry me through the uncertainty:
- I am capable.
- I am resourceful.
- I am productive.
- I am creative.
- I am loved.
...and a big bowl of chocolate and peanut butter ice cream.
Monday, July 30, 2012
What's New?
The short answer: not much. Back to Monday, back to work, trying to get all my blogs and newsletters completed before I head to Philadelphia in two weeks. I've got ideas for tutorials, blogs, articles, etc., that need to be sketched out before I sit down to flesh them out.
Long answer: Tom is hoping to have the last of the metal roofing up on the garage tonight. (Exciting, right?) And then he just has to finish the gutters and the ice hooks, and we won't have to think about that building again as long as we live here.
It's going to be hot today. We're planning on a swim later on, and I'm sitting in the living room under the ceiling fans trying to get warmed up for some serious writing. I'm stuck in the house today because we dropped the van off at the body shop last night for the repairs. I'd forgotten how much it sucks to be without a car during the day.
And here are some funky cloud pictures I took last week when we watched the cold front sliding through the river valley down the hill from our house. Enjoy.
Long answer: Tom is hoping to have the last of the metal roofing up on the garage tonight. (Exciting, right?) And then he just has to finish the gutters and the ice hooks, and we won't have to think about that building again as long as we live here.
It's going to be hot today. We're planning on a swim later on, and I'm sitting in the living room under the ceiling fans trying to get warmed up for some serious writing. I'm stuck in the house today because we dropped the van off at the body shop last night for the repairs. I'd forgotten how much it sucks to be without a car during the day.
And here are some funky cloud pictures I took last week when we watched the cold front sliding through the river valley down the hill from our house. Enjoy.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Welcome to the 1st Reveal of the 6th Bead Soup Blog Party!
Woo-hoo! Welcome to the 1st reveal for the 6th Bead Soup Blog Party! A HUGE thank-you should first be made to the amazing Lori Anderson for all the work that goes into these. Lori has done the beading community around the world such a fabulous service for putting these events together!
I got paired up with the amazing Birgitta Lejonklou of Sweden for this Bead Soup Blog Party, and I was absolutely amazed at what she sent me.
Two pieces of sari silk, a chain, and five of her amazing handmade porcelain cabochons and pendants! Not to mention the cool copper clasp and the assortment of glass, gemstone and wood beads. The whole package was just breathtaking!
My initial thought was to use the Buddha connector with a bead and wire chain, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make the design work.
Realizing that I was getting reeeeeeeeally close to the deadline, I had to come up with something fast. So, I had to resort to my good old quick'n'dirty beaded cabochon skills.
The first piece that drew me was this gorgeous flower cabochon. I started stitching on it for a while, but then ran out of steam. I had a much grander piece in mind, and didn't want to do it a disservice by just doing something fast.
But fast was what I had to do, because I was running out of time!
So I dug through the stash again, and through my own stash, and found a set of beads that worked with the brown cabochon. And this is what I created...
I put some of my newly-acquired wire wrapping skills to good use and attached the copper clasp to the length of brown sari silk. Then I stitched up a bezel and added some crazy fun embellishment to the cabochon!
I've been having some fun lately playing with different edgings and trims for my cabochons. I love the look of lace surrounding the cabochon, and I think I may have to turn that edging into a full-fledged beaded necklace!
I should also give a big thank-you to my swap partner, Birgitta Lejonklou, for sending me such beautiful pieces! I still have plans for the rest of the components...and I want to finish that blue floral cabochon before I head to Bead Fest Philly on the 15th. I've got an idea for embellishing it that I want to try...
So, while you're here, check out all the other amazing goodies that are being revealed today in the Blog Party!
Whew! That's a lotta blogs!
And please, please head over to Birgitta's blog, Create with Spirit, and check out what SHE made with the soup I sent her! She's really a fantastically talented jewelry designer in addition to being a gifted ceramic artist. Lots of pretty stuff to look at!
So now, if you'll all excuse me, I'm off to the farmer's market and to cook dinner for eight! Have fun!
I got paired up with the amazing Birgitta Lejonklou of Sweden for this Bead Soup Blog Party, and I was absolutely amazed at what she sent me.
Two pieces of sari silk, a chain, and five of her amazing handmade porcelain cabochons and pendants! Not to mention the cool copper clasp and the assortment of glass, gemstone and wood beads. The whole package was just breathtaking!
My initial thought was to use the Buddha connector with a bead and wire chain, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make the design work.
Realizing that I was getting reeeeeeeeally close to the deadline, I had to come up with something fast. So, I had to resort to my good old quick'n'dirty beaded cabochon skills.
The first piece that drew me was this gorgeous flower cabochon. I started stitching on it for a while, but then ran out of steam. I had a much grander piece in mind, and didn't want to do it a disservice by just doing something fast.
But fast was what I had to do, because I was running out of time!
So I dug through the stash again, and through my own stash, and found a set of beads that worked with the brown cabochon. And this is what I created...
I put some of my newly-acquired wire wrapping skills to good use and attached the copper clasp to the length of brown sari silk. Then I stitched up a bezel and added some crazy fun embellishment to the cabochon!
I've been having some fun lately playing with different edgings and trims for my cabochons. I love the look of lace surrounding the cabochon, and I think I may have to turn that edging into a full-fledged beaded necklace!
I should also give a big thank-you to my swap partner, Birgitta Lejonklou, for sending me such beautiful pieces! I still have plans for the rest of the components...and I want to finish that blue floral cabochon before I head to Bead Fest Philly on the 15th. I've got an idea for embellishing it that I want to try...
So, while you're here, check out all the other amazing goodies that are being revealed today in the Blog Party!
Hostess, Lori Anderson, PrettyThingsBlog.com
Alice Craddick, Alice's Beads and Baubles
Alicia Marinache, All The Pretty Things
Amanda Tibbetts, Amanda Made
Amber Dawn Goldish, Inventive Soul
Annita Wilson, AW Jewelry
Beti Horvath, Stringing Fool
Birgitta Lejonklou, Create With Spirit
Candida Castleberry, Spinning Spun Sugar
Carolyn Lawson, Carolyn's Creations
Cassie Donlen, Glass Beadle
Cheri Reed, Creative Designs by Cheri
Cheryl McCloud, One Thing Leads to Another
Cheryl Roe, BeadRoe
Christina Hickman, Vintage Treasures Jewelry
Christine Hendrickson, Clamworks
Cilla Watkins, Tell Your Girlfriends
Cindy Wilson, Mommy's Dream
Cindy Wimmer, Sweet Bead Studio
Cory Celaya, Art With Moxie
Cory Tompkins, Tealwater Designs
Cris Peacock, Cris' Page
Cynthia Deis, Shiny Little Things
Cynthia Machata, Antiquity Travelers
Cynthia Wainscott, Exotic Peru
Dana Hickey, Magpie Approved
Dana James, Dana's Jewelry Designs
Dana Lang, Tumblestone Handmakery
Debbie Price, Green Shoot Jewellery Designs
Denielle Hagerman, Some Beads and Other Things
Diane Valasek, Dragonfly Close
Doris Stumpf, Glaszwerg
Dyanne Everett-Cantrell, Dee-Liteful Jewelry Creations
Elaine Robitaille, Too Aquarius
Eleanor Burian-Mohr, The Charmed Life
Enikö Fabian, Perl-eni
Erin Prais-Hintz, Treasures Found
Heather Davis, Blissful Garden Beads
Heidi Post, Ex Post Facto Jewelry
Hilary Frye, FryeStyle
Ilenia Ruzza, Ilenia's Unique Beaded and Painted Jewelry
Inge von Roos, Inge's Blog
Jami Shipp, Celebrating Life
Jayne Capps, Mama's Got to Doodle
Jean A. Well, Jean A. Wells Handcrafted Artisan Jewelry
Jean Yates, Snap Out of It Jean! There's Beading to Do!
Jennifer Cameron, Glass Addictions
Jennifer Pottner, Rock Candy Beads
Jennifer VanBenschoten, Jewelry, Art and Life
Jenny Davies-Reazor, Jenny Davies-Reazor
Jenny Vidberg, Shyme Design
Jessica Dickens, My Jewelry, My Life, Me
Jessica Klaaren, Beadful-Things by Jessica
JJ Jacobs, Coming Abstractions
Joan Williams, Lilruby Jewelry
Judith Johnston, Judith Johnston
Judy Riggs, Rigglettes
Judy Turner, Silver Rains
Julie Anne Leggett, The Peaceful Bead
K Hutchinson, Jumbled Hutch
Karen Meador, Dreamcatcher Ranch
Karyn Bonfiglio, Plus Size Bangles
Katja Benevol Gabrijelcic, Slovonske Technobe
Kelli Jacobson, Creative Moon
Kelly Ramstack, Adventures with Kelly
Keri Lee Sereika, Pink Lemonade
Kim Ballor, Vitamin C... A Daily Dose of Creativity
Kim Bender-Hora, KimmyKat
Kirsi Luostarinen, Kirsi Luo Korut
Kitty Bozzini, Kitty Lampwork
Laura Demoya, The Bead Therapist
Laurie Hanna, Laurie's Jewelbox
Leah Curtis, Beady Eyed Bunny
Lesley Watt, The Gossiping Goddess
Linda Inhelder, Must-Haves Jewelry
Linda Landig, Linda's Bead Blog & Meanderings
Lisa Liddy, Metal Me This
Lori Dorrington, Lori's Adventures in Etsy Land
Lori Poppe, Adventures in Creativity with Lorillijean
Mallory Hoffman, For the Love of Beads
Marge Beebe, Rock Creek Creations
Marianna Boylan, Pretty Shiny Things
Marion Simmons, Shade Tree Studio
Marla Gibson, Spice Box Design
Marta Weaver, Marta Weaver Jewelry
Marti Conrad, Marti C's Clay Blog
Maryse Fritzsch-Thillens, GlassBeadArt, Lampwork Beads
Melanie Brooks, Earthenwood Studio
Michelle Hardy, Firefly Visions
Mikala Coates, Maybe Just Perhaps
Mowse Doyle, HoCArt
Nan Emmett, Spirit Rattles - Spirited Earth
Nancy Boylan, Snazzy Doodle Designs
Nancy Peterson, Beading From the Heart
Nicole Rennell, Nicole Rennell Designs
Niki Meiners, 365 Days of Craft
Niky Sayers, Silver Nik Nats
Norma Turvey, Moonlit Fantaseas
Paige Maxim, Paige Maxim Designs
Pamela Gangler, She Always Loved Pink
Paige Maxim, Paige Maxim Designs
Pamela Gangler, She Always Loved Pink
Patricia Johnson, Patricia L. Johnson Glass Art
Patti Vanderbloemen, My Addictions ... Handcrafted Jewelry by Patti
Perri Jackson, Shaktipaj Designs
Raida Disbrow, Havana Beads
Renetha Stanziano, Lamplight Crafts
Shannon Hicks, Falling Into the Sky
Shannon LeVart, Miss Fickle Media
Sharon Driscoll, Right Turn Art Werks
Shelby Foxwell, Sundown Bead Designs Rhetoric
Shelley Graham Turner, Fabric of My Life
Sherri Stokey, Knot Just Macrame
Shirley Moore, Beads and Bread
Skylar Bre'z, Brising Beads
Stacie Florer, Soul to Substance
Stacie Stamper, Park Avenue
Stacy Alderson, Iridal's Attic
Stephanie Haussler, Pixybug Designs
Stephanie Stamper, Rainy Day Designs
Sue Hamel, The Bottle Cork and Crystal
Suzette Bentley, Ellie's Bijoux
Szarka, Magpie Gemstones
Tammy Jones, Jewelry Making Daily
Tania Tebbit, Glass, Craft, & Artful Goodness
Tanty Sri Hartanti, TJewellicious by Tanti
Terry Matuszyk, Pink Chapeau
Tina Bosh, Every Good and Perfect Gift
Tracy Bell, Copper, Glass and Recycled Trash
Vonna Maslanka, Just Vonna
Whew! That's a lotta blogs!
And please, please head over to Birgitta's blog, Create with Spirit, and check out what SHE made with the soup I sent her! She's really a fantastically talented jewelry designer in addition to being a gifted ceramic artist. Lots of pretty stuff to look at!
So now, if you'll all excuse me, I'm off to the farmer's market and to cook dinner for eight! Have fun!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
The First Battle is Over
And I lost out in my battle by one vote! One vote!
Even though I'm not moving on to Round 2, I'm still pretty durn pleased with myself and with my entry. I pushed myself harder than I've pushed in a long time, and I'm very happy with the result. I completed my entry on time and met the deadline. And I got so much amazing feedback, both before and after the results of the first round of voting came in, that I feel like this is a great personal success for me.
There was, as to be expected, some backlash after the results of the first round were announced. And I was just gobsmacked to see how some people reacted after being eliminated or after their favorite pieces (not pieces that they made themselves) were eliminated.
Cries of "foul" filled the Battle of the Beadsmith Facebook page, even as most of us who were eliminated were graceful and just happy to have participated in this event.
What surprised me most was all of the criticism that was unleashed after the results. People were hurt that their work wasn't voted on the next round, and more than one person even suggested that the competition never should even have taken place.
People complained about the judging - there were no set criteria! How were these pieces judged? How could someone come up with a competition that pitted one bead artist against another?
Oh, the INJUSTICE!
Right?
Now, here are my thoughts. And I'm sure I'm gonna piss off a few people here.
I almost didn't enter the competition. I didn't think my work was nearly good enough. I was sure that I was going to be eliminated in the first round. (Which I was, but that's besides the point.)
I talked to my sister about the competition, and as a working artist herself, she had some very good points.
1. If you're an artist, you're automatically in a competition. Whether you like it or not, as an artist, as soon as you create a piece of art - whether it's a song, a poem, a novel, a short story, a painting, a sculpture, a piece of jewelry, whatever - SOMEONE is going to judge it. They're either going to love it, or hate it, or be neutral about it. That's just the way it works. And it's no good to be an artist and make work that you stick in a closet for thirty years. Art is meant to be shared, to spark conversation, and yes, to be judged. If you don't want to be judged, don't be an artist. (But, really, people are gonna judge you, anyway.)
2. Just because your beautiful piece of beadwork wasn't voted forward to the second round doesn't mean that your work is worthless, awful, or "not good enough". Both artists and non-artists seem to equate commercial or competition success with good art. And that's just not always the case. (Anyone who has ever seen any of the Twilight movies, or any of the Transformers movies, will understand this point.)
Yes, there were some amazing freaking pieces of beadwork that were voted into the second round, but all of the pieces were amazing.
True story: after selling my handmade fused glass very successfully at the farmer's markets throughout the summer of 2008, I started taking it around to a couple of local craft stores to see if they would be interested in either consigning it or wholesaling it from me. I remember one store owner in particular who told me that my pieces would never sell. Whatever. I took it with a grain of salt, and went on to have two more very successful summers of selling my handmade glass and beadwork at my local farmer's markets and craft shows.
3. If you don't want to lose, don't enter a competition. That's the whole point of a competition, right? Someone wins, someone loses. Entering a competition doesn't guarantee a win. And neither does entering a competition if you have "name recognition". There were a few heavy-hitters in the beading world that were eliminated in the first round, people that I would have totally expected to move forward. But that doesn't necessarily mean that their work is inferior. (See #2, above.)
4. Don't complain about the judges in a competition. Seriously, people. The judges in this first round were all of the competitors and a select panel of judges, some of whom have been involved in beading as an art since before I could eat my own solid food. That's good enough for me. Those judges are well-respected bead artists, and really, they've seen it all. The participants who created all of these amazing pieces of art also seem to know what they're doing when it comes to judging beadwork and art, so, yeah, I'm pretty sure that they have good reasons for choosing the way they did. Not that the judgement of any one person (or any group of people) makes a work of art "good" or "bad". (See #1 and #2, above.)
5. Just because there are some awesome pieces in this competition that got voted out in the first round and people's feelings got hurt doesn't mean that the competition should never have happened in the first place. I can't imagine even making that statement. I'm sure there are dozens, if not hundreds, of entries into competitions like Bead Dreams and Bead Star that get booted out in the first round, but has anyone said that those competitions should be shut down? Heck, no! Those competitions have resulted in the recognition of some of the most important emerging bead artists in recent years!
I'm not trying to discount anyone's feelings. Of COURSE it hurts when you're eliminated from a competition. Let yourself get upset, if you want to, but don't let it make you think any less of your art. And please, please, please don't point fingers at anyone for your not winning! Entering a competition does not guarantee success! (See #3, above.)
Remember: your art comes from YOU, and the great thing about it is that no one can duplicate your own artistic vision. If you didn't make art, would you be miserable? I certainly would. Making art makes me a happier person, and I really don't care who does or doesn't like it. In the end, if I like it, that's good enough for me.
Personally, losing round one by just a single vote was a big win for me. I never dreamed that I could hold my own against such an amazing piece, but I did! And the feedback I got about my entry - that it was risky, edgy, and unabashedly unique - means more to me than any "win" could.
So, if you want to enter a beading competition, go ahead and enter. But do it with your eyes open, and with the knowledge in your heart that even if you don't win, yes, you are good enough.
Peace, out!
Even though I'm not moving on to Round 2, I'm still pretty durn pleased with myself and with my entry. I pushed myself harder than I've pushed in a long time, and I'm very happy with the result. I completed my entry on time and met the deadline. And I got so much amazing feedback, both before and after the results of the first round of voting came in, that I feel like this is a great personal success for me.
There was, as to be expected, some backlash after the results of the first round were announced. And I was just gobsmacked to see how some people reacted after being eliminated or after their favorite pieces (not pieces that they made themselves) were eliminated.
Cries of "foul" filled the Battle of the Beadsmith Facebook page, even as most of us who were eliminated were graceful and just happy to have participated in this event.
What surprised me most was all of the criticism that was unleashed after the results. People were hurt that their work wasn't voted on the next round, and more than one person even suggested that the competition never should even have taken place.
People complained about the judging - there were no set criteria! How were these pieces judged? How could someone come up with a competition that pitted one bead artist against another?
Oh, the INJUSTICE!
Right?
Now, here are my thoughts. And I'm sure I'm gonna piss off a few people here.
I almost didn't enter the competition. I didn't think my work was nearly good enough. I was sure that I was going to be eliminated in the first round. (Which I was, but that's besides the point.)
I talked to my sister about the competition, and as a working artist herself, she had some very good points.
1. If you're an artist, you're automatically in a competition. Whether you like it or not, as an artist, as soon as you create a piece of art - whether it's a song, a poem, a novel, a short story, a painting, a sculpture, a piece of jewelry, whatever - SOMEONE is going to judge it. They're either going to love it, or hate it, or be neutral about it. That's just the way it works. And it's no good to be an artist and make work that you stick in a closet for thirty years. Art is meant to be shared, to spark conversation, and yes, to be judged. If you don't want to be judged, don't be an artist. (But, really, people are gonna judge you, anyway.)
2. Just because your beautiful piece of beadwork wasn't voted forward to the second round doesn't mean that your work is worthless, awful, or "not good enough". Both artists and non-artists seem to equate commercial or competition success with good art. And that's just not always the case. (Anyone who has ever seen any of the Twilight movies, or any of the Transformers movies, will understand this point.)
Yes, there were some amazing freaking pieces of beadwork that were voted into the second round, but all of the pieces were amazing.
True story: after selling my handmade fused glass very successfully at the farmer's markets throughout the summer of 2008, I started taking it around to a couple of local craft stores to see if they would be interested in either consigning it or wholesaling it from me. I remember one store owner in particular who told me that my pieces would never sell. Whatever. I took it with a grain of salt, and went on to have two more very successful summers of selling my handmade glass and beadwork at my local farmer's markets and craft shows.
3. If you don't want to lose, don't enter a competition. That's the whole point of a competition, right? Someone wins, someone loses. Entering a competition doesn't guarantee a win. And neither does entering a competition if you have "name recognition". There were a few heavy-hitters in the beading world that were eliminated in the first round, people that I would have totally expected to move forward. But that doesn't necessarily mean that their work is inferior. (See #2, above.)
4. Don't complain about the judges in a competition. Seriously, people. The judges in this first round were all of the competitors and a select panel of judges, some of whom have been involved in beading as an art since before I could eat my own solid food. That's good enough for me. Those judges are well-respected bead artists, and really, they've seen it all. The participants who created all of these amazing pieces of art also seem to know what they're doing when it comes to judging beadwork and art, so, yeah, I'm pretty sure that they have good reasons for choosing the way they did. Not that the judgement of any one person (or any group of people) makes a work of art "good" or "bad". (See #1 and #2, above.)
5. Just because there are some awesome pieces in this competition that got voted out in the first round and people's feelings got hurt doesn't mean that the competition should never have happened in the first place. I can't imagine even making that statement. I'm sure there are dozens, if not hundreds, of entries into competitions like Bead Dreams and Bead Star that get booted out in the first round, but has anyone said that those competitions should be shut down? Heck, no! Those competitions have resulted in the recognition of some of the most important emerging bead artists in recent years!
I'm not trying to discount anyone's feelings. Of COURSE it hurts when you're eliminated from a competition. Let yourself get upset, if you want to, but don't let it make you think any less of your art. And please, please, please don't point fingers at anyone for your not winning! Entering a competition does not guarantee success! (See #3, above.)
Remember: your art comes from YOU, and the great thing about it is that no one can duplicate your own artistic vision. If you didn't make art, would you be miserable? I certainly would. Making art makes me a happier person, and I really don't care who does or doesn't like it. In the end, if I like it, that's good enough for me.
Personally, losing round one by just a single vote was a big win for me. I never dreamed that I could hold my own against such an amazing piece, but I did! And the feedback I got about my entry - that it was risky, edgy, and unabashedly unique - means more to me than any "win" could.
So, if you want to enter a beading competition, go ahead and enter. But do it with your eyes open, and with the knowledge in your heart that even if you don't win, yes, you are good enough.
Peace, out!
One Step
Among some of the characters that live in AuSable Forks about five miles up the road from here, there's one woman who's particularly disturbing to me. She looks to be about my age - maybe mid to late 30s - and whenever we see her walking around town, she's got a huge "hat" made of plastic bags strapped to her head and tied under her chin with a black strap.
We see her talking to herself as she walks up and down the street, and more often than not, she's got this look on her face like she's recoiling from something particularly odious and offensive. Once, she stood in line behind Tom at the grocery store in AuSable Forks, and Tom said she was hissing and making menacing sounds under her breath the entire time.
He came back to the car, more than a little shaken up.
I wonder about this woman when I see her. I wonder what her story is, and I wish that there were some way for her to access the mental health services she so obviously needs. Is there someone who takes care of her and looks out for her? Is she actually a caretaker for an elderly parent or relative?
Sometimes, though, I feel like I'm one step away from becoming just like her, and walking up and down Main Street with a ginormous plastic bag hat strapped to my head.
We haven't been sleeping at all this week around here, and I don't know why. Energy upheaval, Mercury in retrograde, whatever. We haven't been sleeping.
Last night, I laid in bed until 11:45 before I finally fell asleep. Then Colden came in with his pillow around 3 a.m. Around 3:30, he woke up and cried that he was thirsty. I got up and got him something to drink. Then he went back to sleep, but I laid there until about 4:30, when I finally got up and went to sleep in his bedroom. I'm guessing I fell asleep around 5 or 5:30.
I woke up later on, not sure of what time it was, to see Colden standing at the side of the bed with the kitchen tongs, peeling the blankets off of me, one at a time. Funny. He says, "Mommy, wake up! It's morning! Time to get up!"
I was still feeling so wrecked that I said, "Colden, if you go get the iPad and let Mommy sleep for a few more minutes, I'll make hot cocoa for breakfast." Zoom! That kid can move fast when you mention two of his favorite things in the same sentence.
Next thing I know, I'm awake again, and thinking I had better get out of bed and see what time it is, since the clock in Colden's room hasn't worked for the last couple of weeks.
I looked at the clock in our room: 8:05.
Aw, shit.
Threw some breakfast together for Colden (peanut butter and jelly, his favorite), jumped in the shower for about thirty seconds to scrub the grime out of my hair and brush my teeth. Get dressed, get Colden dressed, run out the door.
Come home after dropping Colden off and think that my stomach is right - I need to eat breakfast. I start to make breakfast - potatoes and eggs - and pretty soon after I turned up the burner to cook the potatoes, I smelled something burning.
No biggie, probably just a little piece of food in the burner. (Electric stove.) Turn around to turn the ceiling fan on in the kitchen to blow the smoke away, and I turn around and...
Flames. Big 'uns. About the size of my hand.
Switch off the burner, turn on every fan in the house, open the back door, try to work the fire extinguisher, not even sure if I can USE the fire extinguisher on a fire on an electric stove.
Called 911 for guidance. Flames go out on their own while I'm on the phone. House filled with smoke, and potatoes cooked to shit.
At least the fire department didn't have to come out.
So, granted, I'm sure this isn't plastic-bag-hat-strapping material, but it sure feels like I'm at the end of my rope today. I don't know whether to laugh or cry or a little bit of both.
One thing is for sure: I'm not turning on the stove or the oven again until tomorrow.
We see her talking to herself as she walks up and down the street, and more often than not, she's got this look on her face like she's recoiling from something particularly odious and offensive. Once, she stood in line behind Tom at the grocery store in AuSable Forks, and Tom said she was hissing and making menacing sounds under her breath the entire time.
He came back to the car, more than a little shaken up.
I wonder about this woman when I see her. I wonder what her story is, and I wish that there were some way for her to access the mental health services she so obviously needs. Is there someone who takes care of her and looks out for her? Is she actually a caretaker for an elderly parent or relative?
Sometimes, though, I feel like I'm one step away from becoming just like her, and walking up and down Main Street with a ginormous plastic bag hat strapped to my head.
We haven't been sleeping at all this week around here, and I don't know why. Energy upheaval, Mercury in retrograde, whatever. We haven't been sleeping.
Last night, I laid in bed until 11:45 before I finally fell asleep. Then Colden came in with his pillow around 3 a.m. Around 3:30, he woke up and cried that he was thirsty. I got up and got him something to drink. Then he went back to sleep, but I laid there until about 4:30, when I finally got up and went to sleep in his bedroom. I'm guessing I fell asleep around 5 or 5:30.
I woke up later on, not sure of what time it was, to see Colden standing at the side of the bed with the kitchen tongs, peeling the blankets off of me, one at a time. Funny. He says, "Mommy, wake up! It's morning! Time to get up!"
I was still feeling so wrecked that I said, "Colden, if you go get the iPad and let Mommy sleep for a few more minutes, I'll make hot cocoa for breakfast." Zoom! That kid can move fast when you mention two of his favorite things in the same sentence.
Next thing I know, I'm awake again, and thinking I had better get out of bed and see what time it is, since the clock in Colden's room hasn't worked for the last couple of weeks.
I looked at the clock in our room: 8:05.
Aw, shit.
Threw some breakfast together for Colden (peanut butter and jelly, his favorite), jumped in the shower for about thirty seconds to scrub the grime out of my hair and brush my teeth. Get dressed, get Colden dressed, run out the door.
Come home after dropping Colden off and think that my stomach is right - I need to eat breakfast. I start to make breakfast - potatoes and eggs - and pretty soon after I turned up the burner to cook the potatoes, I smelled something burning.
No biggie, probably just a little piece of food in the burner. (Electric stove.) Turn around to turn the ceiling fan on in the kitchen to blow the smoke away, and I turn around and...
Flames. Big 'uns. About the size of my hand.
Switch off the burner, turn on every fan in the house, open the back door, try to work the fire extinguisher, not even sure if I can USE the fire extinguisher on a fire on an electric stove.
Called 911 for guidance. Flames go out on their own while I'm on the phone. House filled with smoke, and potatoes cooked to shit.
At least the fire department didn't have to come out.
So, granted, I'm sure this isn't plastic-bag-hat-strapping material, but it sure feels like I'm at the end of my rope today. I don't know whether to laugh or cry or a little bit of both.
One thing is for sure: I'm not turning on the stove or the oven again until tomorrow.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
RIP, Gigi
In the five years that we've had chickens, we've never lost a single one to predators - until this week.
Earlier in the week, Tom and I went out to check the coop before a big storm blew through, and we discovered a single chicken leg caught in the top of the 8-foot fence that surrounds the large chicken yard. (There's so much vegetation in it that we call it the Chicken Jungle.)
Then this morning, Tom found a whole pile of feathers in the chicken yard and realized that Gigi, the last of our original flock from five years ago, was gone.
I don't mind saying that when Tom told me she was gone, I cried. Gigi, short for Grousy Girl, was one of our original flock. She was such a gentle bird. Back in her day, she was a good layer, giving us two or three eggs a day. And after she stopped laying, she was just a nice bird to have around. She would jump up into my lap when I came into the coop to collect eggs, she would let Colden stroke her feathers, and she was a good mama hen to the other birds.
Tom is going to look into some kind of netting to put over the top of the chicken run to prevent this hawk (which is what we figure it is) from eating any more of our birds.
Bummer. What a way to start the day.
Earlier in the week, Tom and I went out to check the coop before a big storm blew through, and we discovered a single chicken leg caught in the top of the 8-foot fence that surrounds the large chicken yard. (There's so much vegetation in it that we call it the Chicken Jungle.)
Then this morning, Tom found a whole pile of feathers in the chicken yard and realized that Gigi, the last of our original flock from five years ago, was gone.
| Gigi, the beautiful speckled hen we had since 2007. |
Tom is going to look into some kind of netting to put over the top of the chicken run to prevent this hawk (which is what we figure it is) from eating any more of our birds.
Bummer. What a way to start the day.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Cry
I don't know what's going on, but this morning, I just want to cry. The horrible news out of Colorado - I feel as if I'm an honorary resident, since so many of my wonderful co-workers are out there - combined with the stress of last weekend's car incident and the unending parade of housekeeping chores that seem to go on around here just makes me feel completely overwhelmed.
So after I finished my writing for the morning, I sat down and did a little bit of beading. Not on my Bead Soup project (not yet, anyway), but on this beautiful Ganesha that I recently acquired...
And of course, in looking through my Traditional Jewelry of India book to get an idea for a neck strap for this piece, I found another piece I want to try to re-create with beads...
I think tonight will require another trip to the farmer's market for some (healthy) retail vegetable therapy, and then a trip out to the Wild Center tomorrow with Colden to watch the otters and play on the trails.
So after I finished my writing for the morning, I sat down and did a little bit of beading. Not on my Bead Soup project (not yet, anyway), but on this beautiful Ganesha that I recently acquired...
And of course, in looking through my Traditional Jewelry of India book to get an idea for a neck strap for this piece, I found another piece I want to try to re-create with beads...
I think tonight will require another trip to the farmer's market for some (healthy) retail vegetable therapy, and then a trip out to the Wild Center tomorrow with Colden to watch the otters and play on the trails.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
True Story
This just needs to be said.
When I was studying environmental science at Ramapo College, I had to take an introductory level course in environmental policy. It was a course designed to be a general education class, and many of the students in the class were not actually environmental science majors, but were taking the class to fulfill a gen ed requirement.
One evening in class, and I can't remember how we got on the subject, the conversation turned to some of the recent laws that had been passed by then-mayor Rudy Giuliani. Some of them seemed a bit arcane, and the teacher referred to Mr. Giuliani as a "fascist".
The girl sitting next to me giggled when she heard that word, looked at me and the boy next to her, and said, ">giggle< I don't even know what a fascist IS. >giggle<"
Something in my brain snapped. What she was doing was not cute. I looked right at her and said, "Buy a dictionary, Barbie. Look it up."
So, before ANYONE goes flinging that word "socialist" around again, do me (and yourselves) a favor.
Buy a dictionary. Look it up.
Now on to something better, like my beads for the day...
When I was studying environmental science at Ramapo College, I had to take an introductory level course in environmental policy. It was a course designed to be a general education class, and many of the students in the class were not actually environmental science majors, but were taking the class to fulfill a gen ed requirement.
One evening in class, and I can't remember how we got on the subject, the conversation turned to some of the recent laws that had been passed by then-mayor Rudy Giuliani. Some of them seemed a bit arcane, and the teacher referred to Mr. Giuliani as a "fascist".
The girl sitting next to me giggled when she heard that word, looked at me and the boy next to her, and said, ">giggle< I don't even know what a fascist IS. >giggle<"
Something in my brain snapped. What she was doing was not cute. I looked right at her and said, "Buy a dictionary, Barbie. Look it up."
So, before ANYONE goes flinging that word "socialist" around again, do me (and yourselves) a favor.
Buy a dictionary. Look it up.
Now on to something better, like my beads for the day...
Monday, July 16, 2012
Soup!
So, after a fun-filled weekend of suppositories and insurance adjusters, I was very happy to find that my awesome bead soup had arrived from Sweden, courtesy of ceramic bead artist Birgitte Lejonklou!
The handmade cabochons just took my breath away! The designs are so delicate! And the Buddha connector is just amazing - I've already got a project in mind for that one, but not sure if it will be my Bead Soup piece or not.
I really, really, really want to do something with one of those cabs and some of that sari silk that Birgitte included in my package. It's just calling to me! I wonder if I can "whip" up a little piece of bead embroidery...or maybe that's just something I'll have to wait on for another day. (Since I have to have my piece finished and ready to post on the 28th - yikes!)
On that note, I spent half an hour on the phone with the insurance company today, and I was so stressed out after I answered her questions (all 64,000 of them), I spent a few minutes working on a Zentangle. Since I've been looking at the amazing beadwork in the Battle of the Beadsmith, and idea about beading occurred to me, and I've treated myself to an online Zentangle class and took a new interest in digging out my sketchbook with all my old tangles in it.
I need to go crunch some numbers for tomorrow, and then I need to clean up the kitchen and get some dinner cooking for the three of us, but after the dishes are cleared away, I am going to sit with my kid on the back porch and do some more Zentangling and coloring while I plot my next move.
Happy thought for the day: sunflowers.
To be continued...
The handmade cabochons just took my breath away! The designs are so delicate! And the Buddha connector is just amazing - I've already got a project in mind for that one, but not sure if it will be my Bead Soup piece or not.
I really, really, really want to do something with one of those cabs and some of that sari silk that Birgitte included in my package. It's just calling to me! I wonder if I can "whip" up a little piece of bead embroidery...or maybe that's just something I'll have to wait on for another day. (Since I have to have my piece finished and ready to post on the 28th - yikes!)
On that note, I spent half an hour on the phone with the insurance company today, and I was so stressed out after I answered her questions (all 64,000 of them), I spent a few minutes working on a Zentangle. Since I've been looking at the amazing beadwork in the Battle of the Beadsmith, and idea about beading occurred to me, and I've treated myself to an online Zentangle class and took a new interest in digging out my sketchbook with all my old tangles in it.
I need to go crunch some numbers for tomorrow, and then I need to clean up the kitchen and get some dinner cooking for the three of us, but after the dishes are cleared away, I am going to sit with my kid on the back porch and do some more Zentangling and coloring while I plot my next move.
Happy thought for the day: sunflowers.
To be continued...
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Unlucky?
Just when I think that there's nothing left to write about on my blog...
Today didn't exactly go as planned. Colden is playing another round of hide 'n' go poop, and with the heat we've been experiencing, he just hasn't been himself. So this morning, he said he wanted to go to the library for the annual library sale fundraiser and to return our books and see Yosi's mom, Martha.
We walked into the library, put our books down on the librarian's desk, and saw Martha waving at us. I started to walk over and say hi, and Colden planted his feet and let out the most ear-piercing shriek I have ever heard.
Turned around, scooped up Colden, and walked away.
We tried to walk through the library sale. Colden whined and pulled at my hands the whole time. The kid was MISERABLE. But still, he refuses to poop, despite repeated administrations of Miralax.
Enough, I said, we're going home right now.
Drove home. Got Colden to sit on the potty, but he screamed and cried the whole time that it hurt when he was trying to poop. (Which, of course it did, because the kid hasn't pooped since Wednesday, so he's probably got something like an elephant turd in there.)
He finally wore out and started crying that he was tired. I got him off the potty, got him dressed. He asked for strawberries and something to drink. I got that for him, too. Then he laid down on the bed and went to sleep.
Tom came home, and I said I was going to just go to Target myself while Colden was sleeping. We were running out of water filters for the pitcher, pull ups, and Tom's Zyrtec.
Drove up to Plattsburgh. Looking for a place to park in the 94+ degree parking lot, see an empty space, go to turn into it, and WHAM!
I smacked into the car next to me.
I panicked. What the hell did I just DO?!
I called Tom, in tears. Front headlight on the brand-new van smashed. Nice dent in our front bumper. Big scratches on both cars. (Thankfully, not much else really wrong with other car, just some big scratches on the rear bumper.)
The people who owned the car came out while I was on the phone with Tom and the insurance company. Surprisingly, the NY State Troopers agreed to come file an accident report. (According to the insurance adjuster, usually if something like that happens in a private parking lot like at Target or the mall, it's considered a civil case and no police report is created.)
The guy who owns the car says to me, "You look so familiar." Turns out he used to work at the co-op in downtown Plattsburgh, right next to wear I used to have my store. I used to see him every day when I went in there for my lunch!
So, if I'm going to smash up our brand-new van, at least I hit someone I know, right?
And silly me, I had always thought that Friday the 13th was the unlucky day. Maybe I should have stayed inside all day today, too.
Today didn't exactly go as planned. Colden is playing another round of hide 'n' go poop, and with the heat we've been experiencing, he just hasn't been himself. So this morning, he said he wanted to go to the library for the annual library sale fundraiser and to return our books and see Yosi's mom, Martha.
We walked into the library, put our books down on the librarian's desk, and saw Martha waving at us. I started to walk over and say hi, and Colden planted his feet and let out the most ear-piercing shriek I have ever heard.
Turned around, scooped up Colden, and walked away.
We tried to walk through the library sale. Colden whined and pulled at my hands the whole time. The kid was MISERABLE. But still, he refuses to poop, despite repeated administrations of Miralax.
Enough, I said, we're going home right now.
Drove home. Got Colden to sit on the potty, but he screamed and cried the whole time that it hurt when he was trying to poop. (Which, of course it did, because the kid hasn't pooped since Wednesday, so he's probably got something like an elephant turd in there.)
He finally wore out and started crying that he was tired. I got him off the potty, got him dressed. He asked for strawberries and something to drink. I got that for him, too. Then he laid down on the bed and went to sleep.
Tom came home, and I said I was going to just go to Target myself while Colden was sleeping. We were running out of water filters for the pitcher, pull ups, and Tom's Zyrtec.
Drove up to Plattsburgh. Looking for a place to park in the 94+ degree parking lot, see an empty space, go to turn into it, and WHAM!
I smacked into the car next to me.
I panicked. What the hell did I just DO?!
I called Tom, in tears. Front headlight on the brand-new van smashed. Nice dent in our front bumper. Big scratches on both cars. (Thankfully, not much else really wrong with other car, just some big scratches on the rear bumper.)
The people who owned the car came out while I was on the phone with Tom and the insurance company. Surprisingly, the NY State Troopers agreed to come file an accident report. (According to the insurance adjuster, usually if something like that happens in a private parking lot like at Target or the mall, it's considered a civil case and no police report is created.)
The guy who owns the car says to me, "You look so familiar." Turns out he used to work at the co-op in downtown Plattsburgh, right next to wear I used to have my store. I used to see him every day when I went in there for my lunch!
So, if I'm going to smash up our brand-new van, at least I hit someone I know, right?
And silly me, I had always thought that Friday the 13th was the unlucky day. Maybe I should have stayed inside all day today, too.
Friday, July 13, 2012
The Big Reveal: Mother of Dragons
So, here it is. The wonderful Steven Weiss starting posting pictures today in the Battle of the Beadsmith. The last battle pair that he posted (the 13th pair, on Friday the 13th, no less!) was myself and the lovely Ekaterina Kalinina! That means I get to show you my entry, so here it is. With the name of "Mother of Dragons: Revolting Women", this is what I created for the Battle of the Beadsmith:
And if you would like some more detail:
A shot of the clasp, made with brass hooks and a couple of vintage buttons from the thrift shop:
And a closeup shot of the sculptural peyote stitch elements that make up the collar:
The idea for the sculptural peyote stitch domes came from a picture I saw in a comprehensive book that details the history of jewelry from India. I thought about doing something similar, and while these domes don't look exactly like the piece that was in the book, they're pretty darn close.
I traced a circle on the Nicole's Beadbacking (the best bead embroidery medium in the world!) and then stitched over it using backstitch. After that, I just started working in tubular peyote stitch, just the same as I would have if I were bezeling a cabochon or a stone.
From there, I made the appropriate decreases, and finished off the tops with a tiny silver bead.
Each dome took me a little over an hour to stitch. And then there was the bead embroidery between elements - the spacing on these was so tricky!
Trying to get the fringe on the finished piece was enough to make me want to give up. I nearly did give up. I spent three hours on Saturday putting fringe on seventy-five percent of the piece before I stood up, took a good look at it, and realized that it was all the wrong shape. Commence tearing out, crying, and general feelings of discouragement.
I sat down to work at it on Sunday and spent five hours in the afternoon experimenting with different lengths and combinations of beads. I finally hit on it and finished it after dinner while Tom and Colden were out having a tractor ride.
Monday was the day to finish adding the chain. That was maddening. Measuring, clipping, sorting, counting, measuring, clipping, sorting, counting...you get the idea. And it took me a little while to figure out the correct "rhythm" for adding the chain.
And of course, I posted about my freaky photography session on Tuesday before I sent in my piece. But there it is! After nearly forty hours of work, lots of episodes of "Frasier" on Netflix, and talking myself out of dropping out of the Battle, I finished it and got it submitted on time!
There are a few reasons why I am glad that I did this competition. Lately, I've been starting to feel like I don't have anything original left to say in my beadwork. This piece made me realize that yes, I do still have a voice.
I also feel stressed out over my lack of time to bead. This piece was time management challenge to myself. Between making this piece, I also managed to finish two new tutorials for Etsy, stayed on top of things with my job, and spent enough time with husband and child so that I didn't feel like I was neglecting my family.
My experiments with combining sculptural peyote and bead embroidery have led to a whole slew of new pendants and earrings - many of which I need to finish photographing and writing up as tutorials for my Etsy shop. But stay tuned - they will be listed in the coming weeks before I go to Bead Fest!
So for now, I'm going to take a few days off from the beading (yeah, right), sit back, and enjoy all the eye candy Steven Weiss is posting in the Battle of the Beadsmith group on Facebook. If you really want to join, message me, and I'll add you!
Oh, and if you're wondering if this piece will be listed in my Etsy shop for sale, the answer is...maybe. I've already had a couple of inquiries, but I'd like to be able to submit it to the Lake Placid Center for the Arts juried show in September. And Colden has asked me not to sell it. He thinks I should "keep it forever".
He's a really smart kid, so...
And if you would like some more detail:
A shot of the clasp, made with brass hooks and a couple of vintage buttons from the thrift shop:
And a closeup shot of the sculptural peyote stitch elements that make up the collar:
The idea for the sculptural peyote stitch domes came from a picture I saw in a comprehensive book that details the history of jewelry from India. I thought about doing something similar, and while these domes don't look exactly like the piece that was in the book, they're pretty darn close.
I traced a circle on the Nicole's Beadbacking (the best bead embroidery medium in the world!) and then stitched over it using backstitch. After that, I just started working in tubular peyote stitch, just the same as I would have if I were bezeling a cabochon or a stone.
From there, I made the appropriate decreases, and finished off the tops with a tiny silver bead.
Each dome took me a little over an hour to stitch. And then there was the bead embroidery between elements - the spacing on these was so tricky!
Trying to get the fringe on the finished piece was enough to make me want to give up. I nearly did give up. I spent three hours on Saturday putting fringe on seventy-five percent of the piece before I stood up, took a good look at it, and realized that it was all the wrong shape. Commence tearing out, crying, and general feelings of discouragement.
I sat down to work at it on Sunday and spent five hours in the afternoon experimenting with different lengths and combinations of beads. I finally hit on it and finished it after dinner while Tom and Colden were out having a tractor ride.
Monday was the day to finish adding the chain. That was maddening. Measuring, clipping, sorting, counting, measuring, clipping, sorting, counting...you get the idea. And it took me a little while to figure out the correct "rhythm" for adding the chain.
And of course, I posted about my freaky photography session on Tuesday before I sent in my piece. But there it is! After nearly forty hours of work, lots of episodes of "Frasier" on Netflix, and talking myself out of dropping out of the Battle, I finished it and got it submitted on time!
There are a few reasons why I am glad that I did this competition. Lately, I've been starting to feel like I don't have anything original left to say in my beadwork. This piece made me realize that yes, I do still have a voice.
I also feel stressed out over my lack of time to bead. This piece was time management challenge to myself. Between making this piece, I also managed to finish two new tutorials for Etsy, stayed on top of things with my job, and spent enough time with husband and child so that I didn't feel like I was neglecting my family.
My experiments with combining sculptural peyote and bead embroidery have led to a whole slew of new pendants and earrings - many of which I need to finish photographing and writing up as tutorials for my Etsy shop. But stay tuned - they will be listed in the coming weeks before I go to Bead Fest!
So for now, I'm going to take a few days off from the beading (yeah, right), sit back, and enjoy all the eye candy Steven Weiss is posting in the Battle of the Beadsmith group on Facebook. If you really want to join, message me, and I'll add you!
Oh, and if you're wondering if this piece will be listed in my Etsy shop for sale, the answer is...maybe. I've already had a couple of inquiries, but I'd like to be able to submit it to the Lake Placid Center for the Arts juried show in September. And Colden has asked me not to sell it. He thinks I should "keep it forever".
He's a really smart kid, so...
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Ghost Story
I want to preface this entire post by saying that if you don't believe in ghosts, you're going to think I'm totally full of it. But if you *do* think that there might be something out there that we don't yet understand, by all means, read on...
Yesterday was the day to take the pictures of my entry for the Battle of the Beadsmith and get them submitted to the competition organizer, Steven Weiss.
And of course, the 20% chance of rain the forecast was calling for? Yeah. For the first time in nearly a week, it rained.
The night before, I had gone down to the basement to find my light tent, thinking that I would use the lovely bakgrounds to get a good shot. When I opened the tent, I discovered that my fabric photo backgrounds were not inside. Nor were they anywhere in the basement where I usually store them!
Okay. Whatever. I could work with this. I rigged up the extra window shade in the wooden plant stand and then tried to attach my piece to a couple of pieces of Fireline that would suspend it in mid-air while I took photos.
I couldn't get the Fireline to knot properly. It kept slipping around the wooden slats of the plant stand. By the time I finally got it half-suspended, I realized that the light coming in through the dining room window on this dark and stormy morning would be less than adequate for a good photo.
Drat. I went back downstairs to the basement to find my photo lamps. And discovered that they, too, were nowhere to be found.
While I was tearing through boxes and bags and trying to think where on Earth I could have left all my photo equipment, I heard someone behind me say a very loud, "Harumph!"
Of course, I was down there alone. When I turned around, there was no one behind me. And really, I was too pissed off to be very worried that there might be something (or someone) else down there with me.
It should be noted here that the last few days, whenever I went into the basement, I was immediately overcome with this sense of DREAD. To the point where one night, I almost couldn't stand it and raced up the stairs once I had what I was looking for from the bookshelf. And as soon as I got to the top of the stairs, the feeling just evaporated, but I couldn't help but feeling like someone was looking at me as I ran up the stairs.
Anyway. Back to my photo crisis. I set up the photo tent in the dining room. I thought maybe using the tripod and the macro zoom lens would help. I got the camera attached to the tripod, and took four pictures before the camera went dead.
Dead batteries. I rummaged through three drawers before I discovered that I had put the spare batteries and charger in the camera bag. (Why would I have done THAT?! I never keep the spare batteries in the camera bag. I have no idea what I was thinking last time I charged up those batteries.)
Changed the batteries. Took about forty pictures, and then opened them up in Photoshop. They were all AWFUL. The light was yellow, and there were glares when I used the flash. I was really starting to get angry and frustrated now.
While I was sitting at my chair in front of the computer, I heard it again from behind me. A loud "Harumph!" And then, not two seconds later, BOTH shelves of my bookcase collapsed onto themselves simultaneously, sending books and beads everywhere.
That shook me up a little, but more than anything else, it just added to my annoyance. I was beyond worrying if there was a ghost in the house now - I just HAD to get this pictures right! And now I had to clean up two bookshelves' worth of beads, books, Ultrasuede, and beading supplies!
Right about then, I had a stroke of inspiration. (Good thing I didn't have an actual stroke, which was very possible at the time.) I grabbed the tent, the necklace bust, and the tripod and set up on the back porch with the big windows behind me for lighting. Even though it was still coming down in buckets, I thought the brightly lit clouds might act as a diffuser for the natural light. I decided to break out the big guns and try shooting this with the macro zoom lens, too, to get some good, detailed photos.
I took another thirty photographs, and went back inside to the computer.
As I crossed through the dining room, I noticed that all the extra cords and cables and lenses had been removed from my camera bag and strewn across the dining room table. But no, I was not going to panic right then - I had to see how these photos came out! I was working on a deadline, and no stupid ghost was gonna deter me from getting this piece submitted on time!
I loaded the new photos into the computer and found that they were all PERFECT. There were a couple of shots of the clasp that were fuzzier than I would have liked, but the detail shots were incredible. The light balance was perfect.
After I cropped a few of the photos, I even managed to get the Battle of the Beadsmith logo placed on them properly without too much aggravation. Huzzah!
After that, there were no more disturbances. No more gruff-sounding exclamations from whatever was keeping me company that morning. I went about the rest of my day, had a good brainstorming session at Starbucks, and basically went about my day.
It wouldn't be the first time that I've lived in a haunted house. The farmhouse that we rented before we bought this place was full of old spirits. Every time someone new from the local area came over, they would say, "Oh, you know, my [uncle, grandfather, cousin, aunt, sister, neighbor] died in this house." Oh, yeah, I'm no stranger to stranger things.
But on the bright side, I finished my entry on time, and it's a beaut. I got the perfect photos taken and submitted on time. And now, I can rest my weary beading hands for a few days before I get back to the list of beading projects I've been putting off for the last month!
Yesterday was the day to take the pictures of my entry for the Battle of the Beadsmith and get them submitted to the competition organizer, Steven Weiss.
And of course, the 20% chance of rain the forecast was calling for? Yeah. For the first time in nearly a week, it rained.
The night before, I had gone down to the basement to find my light tent, thinking that I would use the lovely bakgrounds to get a good shot. When I opened the tent, I discovered that my fabric photo backgrounds were not inside. Nor were they anywhere in the basement where I usually store them!
Okay. Whatever. I could work with this. I rigged up the extra window shade in the wooden plant stand and then tried to attach my piece to a couple of pieces of Fireline that would suspend it in mid-air while I took photos.
I couldn't get the Fireline to knot properly. It kept slipping around the wooden slats of the plant stand. By the time I finally got it half-suspended, I realized that the light coming in through the dining room window on this dark and stormy morning would be less than adequate for a good photo.
Drat. I went back downstairs to the basement to find my photo lamps. And discovered that they, too, were nowhere to be found.
While I was tearing through boxes and bags and trying to think where on Earth I could have left all my photo equipment, I heard someone behind me say a very loud, "Harumph!"
Of course, I was down there alone. When I turned around, there was no one behind me. And really, I was too pissed off to be very worried that there might be something (or someone) else down there with me.
It should be noted here that the last few days, whenever I went into the basement, I was immediately overcome with this sense of DREAD. To the point where one night, I almost couldn't stand it and raced up the stairs once I had what I was looking for from the bookshelf. And as soon as I got to the top of the stairs, the feeling just evaporated, but I couldn't help but feeling like someone was looking at me as I ran up the stairs.
Anyway. Back to my photo crisis. I set up the photo tent in the dining room. I thought maybe using the tripod and the macro zoom lens would help. I got the camera attached to the tripod, and took four pictures before the camera went dead.
Dead batteries. I rummaged through three drawers before I discovered that I had put the spare batteries and charger in the camera bag. (Why would I have done THAT?! I never keep the spare batteries in the camera bag. I have no idea what I was thinking last time I charged up those batteries.)
Changed the batteries. Took about forty pictures, and then opened them up in Photoshop. They were all AWFUL. The light was yellow, and there were glares when I used the flash. I was really starting to get angry and frustrated now.
While I was sitting at my chair in front of the computer, I heard it again from behind me. A loud "Harumph!" And then, not two seconds later, BOTH shelves of my bookcase collapsed onto themselves simultaneously, sending books and beads everywhere.
That shook me up a little, but more than anything else, it just added to my annoyance. I was beyond worrying if there was a ghost in the house now - I just HAD to get this pictures right! And now I had to clean up two bookshelves' worth of beads, books, Ultrasuede, and beading supplies!
Right about then, I had a stroke of inspiration. (Good thing I didn't have an actual stroke, which was very possible at the time.) I grabbed the tent, the necklace bust, and the tripod and set up on the back porch with the big windows behind me for lighting. Even though it was still coming down in buckets, I thought the brightly lit clouds might act as a diffuser for the natural light. I decided to break out the big guns and try shooting this with the macro zoom lens, too, to get some good, detailed photos.
I took another thirty photographs, and went back inside to the computer.
As I crossed through the dining room, I noticed that all the extra cords and cables and lenses had been removed from my camera bag and strewn across the dining room table. But no, I was not going to panic right then - I had to see how these photos came out! I was working on a deadline, and no stupid ghost was gonna deter me from getting this piece submitted on time!
I loaded the new photos into the computer and found that they were all PERFECT. There were a couple of shots of the clasp that were fuzzier than I would have liked, but the detail shots were incredible. The light balance was perfect.
After I cropped a few of the photos, I even managed to get the Battle of the Beadsmith logo placed on them properly without too much aggravation. Huzzah!
After that, there were no more disturbances. No more gruff-sounding exclamations from whatever was keeping me company that morning. I went about the rest of my day, had a good brainstorming session at Starbucks, and basically went about my day.
It wouldn't be the first time that I've lived in a haunted house. The farmhouse that we rented before we bought this place was full of old spirits. Every time someone new from the local area came over, they would say, "Oh, you know, my [uncle, grandfather, cousin, aunt, sister, neighbor] died in this house." Oh, yeah, I'm no stranger to stranger things.
But on the bright side, I finished my entry on time, and it's a beaut. I got the perfect photos taken and submitted on time. And now, I can rest my weary beading hands for a few days before I get back to the list of beading projects I've been putting off for the last month!
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